Negotiating Successfully

Managing Stress the Smart Way

2007-12-18T18:05:00.000+09:00

Stress is everywhere today - and you need to plan to reduce it. You can find out heaps of stuff at SkillPath's website and they run great Stress Reduction seminars. Here is an article fom a recent newsletter on how to handle stress better.

Yes, it's one of those days. The knock on your door is your supervisor, who enters and whispers loudly, "I need to see you as soon as you get off the phone." You acknowledge him by nodding your head. At this moment you are:

(1) Looking at your "to-do" list
(2) Talking on the phone
(3) Listening to the person on the phone
(4) Opening your mail
(5) Acknowledging your supervisor

But what are you actually accomplishing? NOTHING. Because you are trying to do five things at once. It isn't possible. The key is concentration. Instead of thinking about the different needs and wants you have, stay focused and do one thing at a time. Devote your full attention to one task and bring it to closure or to a convenient stopping point before you start working on something else.

What are some other ways you can deal with stress and avoid burn-out? Start by determining what it is that causes your stress. If you can identify your stressors, you can begin to change your behaviour:

Perfectionism causes stress. Do your best, but accept that you'll never be perfect.

Develop a support group that you can talk to when the going gets tough

Eat good food, get plenty of sleep, exercise and do some deep breathing

Make it a point to avoid alcohol, tobacco and caffeine

Go off for time alone or spend time enjoying a hobby. It's a great way to take your mind off the everyday pressures we all face.

Remember that you always have options that will ease your stress levels. When people feel that they have no options, they burn out. They lose hope and give up. Don't let that happen to you.

Healthy People Negotiate Better

2007-07-09T16:38:00.001+08:00

On Motivation World they asked Matt Church, one of Australia's best know health experts some questions:

Hi Matt,

I find myself to be very sleepy during 3-4pm everyday, which affects my work productively as I can't concentrate. Is this due to that I am physically unfit,and need to do more fitness exercise such as going to the gym, or go jogging?

We get sleepy mid afternoon because of two things;

What we eat at 11.00am (mid morning), usually nothing. A breakfast cereal here may pick your mid afternoons up a bit.

Our brain has a gland about the size of a pea called the pineal gland. It releases Melatonin your sleep drug mid afternoon. Scientist believe this was to let us sleep away the hot afternoons.

Here are 5 Ideas that might help

Eat a cereal at 11.00am , 2 weetbix should do the trick.
Keep lunch to salads and proteins (ie chicken fish, meat).
Have a 30 minute power nap (love to, work for myself, but still don't)
Do a 20 minute walk at 3pm and work back a little later
Ensure you get enough sleep at night. You can tell you are if you don't need an alarm clock to get up in the morning and if you take around 20-30 minutes to falloff to sleep at night.

About Matt Church,

Matt's sessions address the fact that every feeling you have is driven by a chemical. If you can find the chemical you can 'fix the feeling'.

Matt is so committed to providing leading edge information in his presentations that is grounded in the principles of quality and practicality, that he employs a small group of dedicated researchers to assist with this.

He has authored the popular FIX HOW YOU FEEL series which includes ''Highlife 24/7' 'Adrenalin Junkies' and 'Serotonin Seekers' published by the ABC.

You can book Matt at info@motivationww.com or freecall 1800 249 351

Concentration

2007-07-02T09:12:00.000+08:00

Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets. - Nido Qubein

If you know how to bring all your forces together for baattle, at the right moment, and in the right place, you don't need to have a large army to be successful... - Michel Quoist

Belief

2007-06-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

A man is literally what he thinks. - James Allen

Man is what eh believes. - Anton Chekhov

Averages

2007-06-11T16:26:00.000+08:00

Would you like me to give you a formula for...success? It's quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure... You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn't at all... You can be discouraged by failure - or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that's where you'll find success. On the far side of failure. - Thomas J. Watson

Achievement

2007-06-06T16:22:00.001+08:00

To win without risk is to triumph without glory
PIERRE CORNEILLE

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.
WILLIAM PENN

D List Part 5

2007-06-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

These blogs have the no follow link disabled from the comments, which means that if you comment on these sites, you will get an actual link. If you would like to be included here, please let me know.

If you find this list useful, please consider linking to it.

This DoFollow Blog list is courtesy of Courtney Tuttle and was created originally by Coleen as the D-List.

Bonnie Writes

Pink Poison Store

Gator Byte

How Can I Do That?

The Official Mrs. Rugged

That's what she said

my daily snippets

Culture Shiok!

Good Enough Mom

TotalDismay.com

LittleAmerica.us

Prudence and Madness

Just A Touch of Sweetness

PAULA NEAL MOONEY

Simplify Every Obstacle

Life in the Fast Lane

Nanashi-Inc.net

Ask Jason

Work At Home Musings

High Strangeness Altoona

Listening..Learning..Living

The Chronicles of My Life

The Millionaire Secrets

Live Life Organics & Your Health

House of Freebies

TodayGadgets

Scuttlebutt Pipeline

Luna Tail

Accentuate the Positive

My Muddled Mind

Blogging made devilishly simple

Wild in London

go get global news & views

Ask Laane

Debt Free Living

Ask Jason Business

Tip Tail - From Agility to Zen!

New Century Politics

ShowMeMoneyBiz.com

Selenas Musings About Travel and Culture

Picture Clusters

The Ruff Draft

Opinionated

ShowMeHealthBiz

Musings of a Learning Wife and Mother

The Tech Inspector

Scribble On The Wall

Confessions of an Everyday housewife

Ask Jason Marketing

Journal of My Simple Life

Into the Bit

Chief Prognosticator

Selenas Musings About Life

She Rambles On

Thoughts Out of My Head

The Article Writer

Pegs AZ Life

The Wired Kayaker

JOIN - Do Follow Bloggers **

Aaron Roselo

Surviving NJ

Step away from the cake

Mom's Chatterbox

Ramblings Of An Undisturbed Mind

Blank Canvas

Marisas Dandelion Patch

Movies of My Life

RavensBarrow.com

By the Sea

PBriscoe.com

Laurigami.com

Table for Five

gimme a break

My Home Recipe

SQKIKs Simple Tech

Women Mumbles

Shopping Flavor

A Writers Words, An Editors Eye

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genki desu yo

Genki!!

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Buy better - Have a Better Life

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Whats All This Then!

My Opinion Counts

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Elements of Fishing

Aylee bits

Chief Prognosticator 2

Ask Jason Personal Tech

Selenas Musings About Raising Children

tales from the ballpark: 2007

The passionate ailurophile

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My Adventures into The Street

A Geek Mom's Net Journey

pamibe

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Julies Journal

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campingcoop.org

Five Steps to Successful Sales Negotiations

2007-05-25T09:46:00.000+08:00

By Miller Heiman

While there are a number of approaches used by salespeople, successful negotiators know the power of a collaborative approach, with gains for everyone. They know they need to see things from the other person’s perspective, to work jointly with the client to create agreements that truly satisfy the critical interests of everyone involved.

Five Steps to Successful Sales Negotiations.

1. Do Your Homework. Successful sales negotiators have a learning mindset -- they are continually curious and open to new insight. They continually strive to understand the client company and the people involved in approving the deal. Successful negotiators know the pertinent facts and relevant data. They have a good sense of the customers business, and what they need to fix, accomplish and avoid.

2. Never Forget The Needs. Good sales negotiators focus on their own and their client’s interests, as well as diligently maintaining relevant standards and benchmarks. They are especially attuned to the common ground issues among the parties and to the needs that could potentially derail the negotiation. These negotiators never lose sight of the organizational and individual needs of their customer.

3. Know When To Walk. Effective negotiators are prepared to walk away from a negotiation if necessary. They realize they do not have to be held hostage by the other side. In order to be prepared, they spend time understanding and developing the point at which they’d walk away.

4. Brainstorm Solutions Continually. Negotiators constantly come up with ideas that satisfy all parties because they provide high value to them. This perspective is very much about creative problem solving rather than an “us vs. them” mindset.

5. Leverage a Collaborative Approach. Rather than trying to force an agreement on the customer, successful negotiators work jointly with their accounts to look at the constructs of wise agreements. Too many agreements fall apart due to ambiguity or confusion in the written agreement. Excellent negotiations ensure that the contract reflects what was actually agreed upon, which helps rather than hinders implementation.

Meet the Goal and Negotiate Success. The goal is to be perceived as a trusted advisor who continues to create real value for your client. Therefore, as salespeople, it’s important to recognize that simply signing an agreement is not the goal. The actual goal is to produce results from the agreement that are critical to building long-lasting customer relationships.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Miller_Heiman

Negotiation Skills - Importance & Techniques

2007-05-24T08:04:00.000+08:00

Manas Das said "Negotiation is an important tool, that all of us use at different times, at different phase of our life, to achieve different goals. The first time probably we negotiated in our life, when as a child we kept shouting for mother's milk. The negotiations are typically tagged with a price, which may or not be expressed in monetary term. For example a marital negotiation has a typical price line of social status, whereas a negotiation in the job interview the price line is clearly money. There can be more than one one price line also, provided there are different areas involved in the negotiation. For example in a union-management negotiation apart form salary, there can be price lines involving working conditions and industrial relations."

In businesses across Australia, thousands of people - just like you - find themselves in the unfortunate position of verbal disagreement with resistant customers, suppliers or colleagues, trying to get the help and support they need to function effectively.

The desire to "keep the peace" is often seen as a better strategy than enduring the headaches and hassles of standing toe-to-toe with aggressive co-workers, customers or suppliers who always seem to get thier way through intimidation and bullying tactics.

There is an answer! There are a few people who by using Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies, tactfully make a case for their views without creating a feeling of resentment between themselves and the people they interact with. And they're the ones that get what they want - every time.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Manas_Das

Strategy and Tasks For Success Negotiation

2007-05-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

In the second part of Jonathan Farrington article, he said"when preparing for negotiation, it is advisable to write down a realistic assessment of how you perceive the final outcome. Find out the limits of your authority within the negotiation and decide what you are willing and able to concede in order to arrive at an agreement, which satisfies all parties."

"Concessions have two elements; cost and value. It is possible during negotiations to concede issues that have little cost to you but have great value to the other side. This is the best type of concession to make. Avoid, however, conceding on issues that have a high cost to you irrespective of their value to the other side.

When preparing for negotiations, ask yourself the following questions:

• What is the best deal I could realistically achieve in this negotiation?

• What is the likely outcome of the negotiation?

• What is the limit of my authority?

• At which point should I walk away?

• What concessions are available to me?

• What is the cost of each concession and what value does each have to either side?

Strategy:

Planning your strategy is important in negotiation. Once you know your objectives, you need to work out how you are going to achieve them. It is also useful to try and see the negotiation from the other side and try and work out what their strategy will be.

Read Full Entry

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Farrington

Negotiation - Planning For A Successful Outcome

2007-05-18T08:52:00.001+08:00

By Jonathan Farrington

In any kind of negotiation the planning stage is probably the most important. Too often we go in badly prepared and end up giving concessions that reduce the overall profitability of the final deal. The importance of planning is in having a very clear idea before entering into the negotiation i.e.

• What are my objectives?

• What does the other side wish to achieve?

• What information will influence the final outcome of the negotiation?

• What concessions can I make?

• How am I going to achieve my objectives?

• What part will other people play in the negotiation?

Generally, the more time that is spent in planning and preparing for the negotiation, the more beneficial will be the final outcome.

Objectives:

Before entering into the negotiation, you need to have a clear idea of your objectives and try to work out those of the other side. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What exactly do I wish to achieve from this negotiation?

• Which of my objectives:

- Must I achieve?

- Do I intend to achieve?

- Would I like to achieve?

• What options or alternatives would be acceptable to me?

• What are the other sides. objectives?

• How does the other side see the negotiation?

Read more here

To be continued

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Farrington

Effective Tips on Good Business Negotiation

2007-05-17T08:16:00.000+08:00

"Negotiation is a big part of the business world". Every day, businessmen and women negotiate to close big deals. However, negotiation is also used to solve disputes between one or more parties. Negotiation is used to allow all parties involved feel that they have come out winning. The power to be a skilled negotiator is not something you are born with, it takes years of practice to hone this skill, and when perfected, you will have a certain power.

To become a skilled negotiator, there are several guidelines that one must follow in order to be successful. These guidelines have been proven to work with thousands of people around the world.

When you are the negotiator of one or more angry parties, avoid using the word negotiate. It makes that parties feel like they are settling and you will ultimately fail. Using positive statements such as Lets work things out or you may be interested in this...

Try not to use anything remotely close to negative terms, parties will grasp on to it and feel that they are being cheated. When you make a proposal that denotes positive words, more often than not, people will listen.

Before you start your negotiations, you need to sit down and look at both parties. Try to find a commonality between the two as a starting point. You need to set goals as to where you want the negotiations to go and set your priorities. You want to try and limit the amount of anger that will be brought to the table.

It is also important to try and figure out different scenarios that could lead to complications in your negotiations.

Read the whole article here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leon_Edward

Intrapersonal Communication

2007-05-16T09:44:00.000+08:00

Negotiation - Understanding Your Sources Of Power

2007-05-15T08:23:00.000+08:00

7 Tips For The Talk

2007-05-14T12:04:00.000+08:00

In the second part of Susan L Reid's article, she gives 7 tips for the talk.

Tip #1: Address issues as they come up. Don't piggy-back unresolved issues from the past onto the present topic of discussion. Stay on point.

Tip #2: Use "I" statements, and speak only from your perspective. Don't overload your speech with absolutes such as: "You never . . . "or "You always . . . . " Stick with "I."

Tip #3: Focus on the behaviors you are observing, not the opinions of others. Resist the urge to press your point by listing the scores of people who agree with you and your point of view. Stand and speak only for yourself.

Tip #4: Listen, when someone else is speaking. If you're interrupting or forming your response as the other person is talking, you're not listening. Your full attention should be on the speaker.

Tip #5: Check in from time to time to make sure everyone is on the same page. Don't assume that the other person is in agreement with you or what you are saying. Check it out.

Tip #6: Follow the bouncing ball. Don't change the subject without a nod in the direction of the previous topic of discussion. Mind your segue.

Tip #7: Be open to the possibility of another perspective. There is no absolute truth. Truth is relative.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

Small Business Communication

2007-05-14T08:41:00.000+08:00

By Susan L Reid

In today's small business world, communication is paramount to success. Too much depends on how small business owners are perceived by their clients and customers, not to take it seriously. This article defines the three main communication styles in business, a modified active listening dialogue, and seven tips for communication success.

What a great title for an article on communication, don't you think? LoBo recorded this song in the 70s about hanging out and traveling around the country in a car, just going wherever and however the spirit moved.
That pretty much sums up the free-flowing way most of us communicate. We stay with topics for as long as they interest us, and we move on when they don't. Communicating effectively can be one of your greatest assets when you're running a small business. Ineffective communication, conversely, can be your greatest liability.

3 Main Styles of Business Communication. There are three main "voices" or styles of communication: one-under, one-up, and equal.

1. One-under communication is a style that is typified by minimizing what you are saying, or putting yourself or your words "one-under" in importance to another person's. The intent here is to focus on the other person in order to gain greater clarity about what he or she is saying. "Seek first to understand than to be heard" is an axiom that would apply here.

2. One-up communication is an aggressive style that is often accompanied with raised voices and excessive reinforcements, absolutes, and "you" statements. Boundary-busting is what this type of communication is often considered. This is because the person speaking thinks that what he or she is saying is more important than what anyone else is saying. This style of delivery will automatically shut down the avenues of communication or incite angry retorts.

3. Equal communication is a style that is epitomized by direct and respectful communication and the use of "I" statements and reflective listening skills. Its purpose is to open up the avenues of communication and encourage dialogue. At its core is the understanding that each person matters and what he or she has to say is valuable. "Two heads are better than one" is the adage at the heart of this communication style.

To be continued

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

Styles Of Negotiation

2007-05-11T09:15:00.000+08:00

Our style of negotiation will be influenced by the style of the other party. If both sides are adversarial; there will be little trust between the two parties, however, if one side decides to be co-operative, there is a danger the other side will use this apparent sign of weakness to their advantage.

Co-operative bargaining has the advantage of being a more efficient style of negotiation, however certain rules have to be followed by both parties for it to work. Let us look at the two styles of bargaining and their features:

Features Of Adversarial Bargaining:

• Each side takes up a position and defends it.

• Opening bids are set at unrealistic levels; too high or too low, in order to give

room for manoeuvre.

• Movement is small or non-existent until later on in the negotiation.

Read the whole article here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Farrington

Holographic Tech - Virtual Communication

2007-05-10T08:36:00.000+08:00

Science Fiction is generally a projection of current technology trends into the future. For instance take the Star Wars Holographic Video Phone? Do you know that there are now cell phones that are a little bit smaller than a brick which can project an image video onto a wall using a 3G wireless phone? Very cool and we know with Moore's Law that indeed these will get smaller and better and soon will probably be the size of a Nano iPod.

Think of the benefits and uses for a technology of this kind; you could Record Yourself for Future Great Grandchildren and they could take this with them or save the data in their wrist watch so incase they had a question, your hologram would pop up with some gentlemanly words of wisdom to assist them in making the right decision.

Of course on the business front is where this technology will really take off. Think about Virtual Sales Presentations or Corporate Meetings Without Travel. This will save time and money and for sales it will surely be a lot more convincing than a "cold call" and that is surely a good thing.

What about for government or politics - can Holographic Projection be used for communication with our friends and allies too? Sure, how about; State Department VR Holographic Diplomacy or a US Presidential Visit - Holographic Style. Wouldn't that be something else? That would surely help us keep in tough even with the busy schedules.

If you are into extreme sports well you might be in luck as you could video tape your adventures and then make money by Selling Your Experiences Online in Holograms. You would be getting paid to do what you already love to do? Where do you want your Hologram to go today?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=L._Winslow

National and Cultural Negotiation Style

2007-05-09T09:22:00.000+08:00

Cultural and national negotiation styles reflect communication behaviors and the priorities of that culture. Priorities such as trust, teamwork, non-confrontational situations, and openness are all along a sliding scale with each culture. The communication behaviors of each culture reflect these priorities and can dictate how a culture will engage in negotiations. Often, Japanese and other Asian negotiators will plan a social event and dinner before any real negotiations occur. Likewise, Americans place an emphasis on taking clients out to dinner and a round of golf. Engaging in this type of activity builds trust and opens the line of communication between the two parties. Using persuasive techniques to “connect” with another person can lead to trust and the sense of a relationship being built. The negotiation styles of these two cultures mesh well, thus allowing them to understand the priorities of each other’s culture.

Once a relationship has been built on trust, the negotiators can begin sharing information. This level of openness is highly dependant on the level of openness for that country. This stage in negotiations require each party to fulfill their end of reciprocation – which can sometimes make one party feel like they are being confronted - but if done correctly can develop “quick trust” (Brett, 207). Quick Trust develops when two groups share information and allow the other party to see their weak side. Obviously developing trust is important, however some cultures simply may not be comfortable with divulging information quickly.

Getting Down to business: Using Culture to Persuade Arguably one of the most important factors in negotiation is an understating of the culture in which you are engaging in negotiations. Cultures vary in their openness and in the time that business in conducted. Terms of agreements should be taken into consideration; for example, Italy has a 90-day billing cycle versus the “normal” USA 30-billing cycle. These cultural norms are very important for understanding how to succeed in negotiating on a global scale. Building relationships is the key for building trust among partners or potential clients. Trust can become an all encompassing factor when it comes time to make a final decision, the understanding of what is expected and following through will allow negotiations to flow smoothly.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Scott_Fish

Aspects Of Communication

2007-05-08T09:19:00.000+08:00

Communication is the process of sharing information. In a simplistic form information is sent from a sender or encoder to a receiver or decoder.

Communication can be:

1. Verbal communication which requires language. A language is a system of arbitrary signals, such as voice sounds, gestures or written symbols which communicate thoughts or feelings

2. Non-verbal communication, which does not need language to exchange ones thoughts. Silence is the best example. In certain contexts, silence can convey its own meaning, e.g. reverence, indifference, emotional coldness, rudeness, thoughtfulness, humility, aggressiveness. Silent communication shows more emotion than verbal. Non-verbal communication includes gestures, body language, signs, symbols etc.

In everyday day life we come across various forms of communication. Between parties, communication content includes acts that declare knowledge and experiences, give advice and commands, and ask questions. These acts may take many forms, including gestures (nonverbal communication, sign language and body language), writing and speech .The form depends on the symbol systems used. Together, communication content and form make messages that are sent towards a destination. The target can be oneself, another person or another entity (such as a corporation or group

A particular instance of communication is called a speech act. A speech act typically follows a variation of logical means of delivery. The most common of these, and perhaps the best, is the dialogue. The dialogue is a form of communication where both the parties are involved in sending information. There are many other forms of communication but the reason the dialogue is good is because the dialogue lends itself to clearer communication due to feedback. (Feedback being encoded information, either verbal or nonverbal, sent back to the original sender (now the receiver) and then decoded.

Although we do not realize but in everyday we communicate with 10 to 1000 people in one way or the other may be directly or indirectly. All of us come across situations when things go wrong due to lack of communication. There can be various barriers in communication which may lead to such a situation.

Following factors can impede human communication

1. Not understanding the language

Verbal and non-verbal messages are in a different language. This includes not understanding the idioms used by another sub-culture or group. Not understanding the language also means that body language cannot be understood. One person may greet another person differently. If the two people do not understand each other then it can cause a rift in communication

2. Not understanding the context

Not knowing and or understanding the history of the occasion, relationship, or culture. Intent can be perceived differently by the receiver than what the sender intended.

3. Obfuscation

Intentionally delivering an obscure or confusing message

4. Distraction

Inadequate attention to processing a message. This is not limited to live conversations or broadcasts. Any person may improperly process any message if they do not focus adequately. Sometimes due to the "static", or real life events that cause distraction. This is why an interactive form of communication, one with lots of questions and answers for clarity, would be best so it is easier to stay involved in the message and to have less miscommunication.

So communication is an important activity in one’s life. Whether humans or animals, everyone wants to share his feelings, his emotions, his thought, his ideas and hence develops one way or the other to communicate!

Negotiation Isn't a Sometime Thing, It's an All-The-Time Thing!

2007-05-07T08:53:00.000+08:00

When you’re buying a car or a house, you absolutely, unequivocally know you’re entering a big-stakes negotiation, the result of which will mean thousands of dollars saved, earned, or lost.

So, it’s fairly easy to get up for the game, emotionally, but that doesn’t do much good if your haven’t built your skills to an equivalent point.

You need to be READY to negotiate the big items of life, but because most of us do so only once every four or five years, we aren’t up to speed.

There is only one way to get more experience and that is by (1) Perceiving the frequency with which you actually negotiate, daily, weekly, and monthly; and (2) By deliberately sharpening your bargaining tools within those encounters.

I hired a pool cleaning service because I finally admitted I wasn’t going to get around to adding chemicals, investing in vacuum hoses, and testing the water on a regular basis.

During the pool guy’s second visit, I noticed he was on site maybe 10 minutes, and he was about to split.

Not good, because there was algae along the tiles and in various nooks and crannies.

If I let him leave without pointing out these areas, he’d get the idea that his loose standard of pool cleaning effectiveness would hold sway during the course of our relationship, and I couldn’t let that happen.

I recognized WE WERE NEGOTIATING HOW MUCH WORK HE WOULD DO for the money I was paying, and his “default setting” wasn’t good enough.

He got the message, and ever since, he has been on his toes. Last week, during a driving rain, he showed up to at least put the chlorine in.

We smiled and waved, and all is well in the kingdom.

The next time you go to your dry cleaner ask them, “Do you have any coupons running in the paper?”

When you speak to your cell phone customer service department ask if they have any better plans since the last time you selected yours. Most likely, they do, but they won’t volunteer information about them.

You’ve heard the saying, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

Vince Lombardi said, "Winning isn't a sometime thing; it's an all-the-time thing."

Get ready for those really big negotiations by practicing in life’s small ones.

D-List Part 4

2007-05-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

Patrick Says v2.0
Paula Mooney
PBriscoe.com
Pegs AZ Life
Pencil Thin
PimpMyPageRank
Pink Poison Store
Pond, The
Ramblings Of An Undisturbed Mind
Randa Clay Design
Raw Vegan Momma
Reasoner, The
Rotten Bananas
Sassy Southerner, The
Scribble On The Wall
Scuttlebutt Pipeline
Selena’s Travel and Culture
SelfHynosisProgram
Shopping Flavor
ShowMeHealthBiz
ShowMeMoneyBiz.com
Simple Kind Of Life
Simplify Every Obstacle
Skeets Stuff
Solo Technology
Sophistishe.Org Personal Blog
SQKIKs Simple Tech
Super Blogging
Sun-Flower Family, The
Table for Five
TDZ Travel
TeaScoop
TechieZone
Teenage Angst Regression
Texas RV
Travel blog
Thermal
TimeForBlogging
Tricia\’s Musings
Two Dog Zoo
Utterly Geek
Wanders World
Web Files, The
WebStyle
Whatever I Feel Like
Wild & Crazy Ride
Winding Threads
Wired Kayaker, The
Women Mumbles
Work At Home Mom Revolution
Yoga Blog

To be continued

Negotiation as a Parenting Tool

2007-05-03T08:53:00.000+08:00

A parent is meant to be the rock in a child’s life. We set the rules and children live by them, right? Many times this is the case. We set up specific guidelines for our children so that they can distinguish the difference between right and wrong. Sometimes, however, negotiation is necessary to resolve a conflict.

When parents and children have competing interests, it is important to keep the lines of communication open. Negotiation is sometimes the best way to do this. Working together might result in a solution that makes both sides happy.

For example, let’s say your child wants to go over a friend’s house after school, but you need him or her to help you with some chores around the house. Negotiating can help both sides get their way. Perhaps the child could do half of the chores before going to his or her friend’s house, but then have an earlier curfew to finish the remaining half of the chores later that night. Whatever solution you find, reaching it by negotiation rather than an argument can keep the peace when parents and children disagree.

Children can be very shrewd negotiators in their own right, and you should encourage this trait to help them develop good communication and argument skills as they get older. One common cause for concern among children is asking for a raise in allowance. If a child simply asks for the pay increase, maybe you should prompt him or her for reasons why they feel they should get the raise. Perhaps set a condition for the child to meet before the raise in allowance is given. It is never too early to start building the foundation for good reasoning skills.

When you and your children negotiate, be sure to maintain a casual tone in the discussion. Yelling over one another about why one person is right and the other is wrong is not going to solve anything. Those are not good argument skills. What you want your children to take away from the negotiation, besides the satisfaction of knowing they got what they wanted, is the ability to form clear ideas to support their argument.

While these skills might only be employed with older children, you can start to apply it at a basic level. If a child wants ice cream after dinner, tell them they can only have it if they eat three more bites or finish their meal. When the meal is finished and the child is happily slurping down his or her ice cream, both parent and child are satisfied. What is crucial to this lesson is that you stick to your word. If they don’t eat the three bites, they don’t get the ice cream.

Although certain points should be non-negotiable, those that aren’t can only be settled through clear communication. Just as in any relationship, the relationship between parent and child is only going to work if they communicate with each other, even if it means sacrificing some of what we want.

Nonverbal Communication in Business 2

2007-05-02T09:20:00.000+08:00

Movement
Ever watch great presenters in action — men and women who are alone on the stage yet make us laugh, cry and be swept along by their words and enthusiasm?

Watch them carefully and you'll note that they don't stand rigidly in one spot. No, they bounce and run and stroll and glide all around the stage.

Why do they do that?

Because they know that we human beings, men in particular, are drawn to movement.

As part of man's genetic heritage we are programmed to pay attention to movement. We instantly notice it, whether we want to or not, assessing the movement for any hint of a threat to us.

This, of course, helps explain why many men are drawn to the TV and seem transfixed by it. It also helps explain why men in particular are almost 'glued' to the TV when there is any sport on. All that movement!

But to get back to the stage and you on it... ensure that any movement you make is meaningful and not just nervous fidgetting, like rocking back and forth on your heels or moving two steps forward and back, or side to side.

This is 'nervous movement' and your nervousness will transmit itself to your audience, significantly diluting the potency of your communication and message.

So move about the stage when you can — not just to keep the men in the audience happy, but to help emphasise your message!

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Posture
There are two kinds of 'posture' and it is the wise communicator that manages and utilizes both.

Posture 1
The first type of 'posture' is the one we think of intuitively-the straight back versues the slumped shoulders; the feet-apart confident stance verses the feet together, hand-wringing of the nervous; the head up and smiling versus the head down and frowing.

And every one of the positions we place the various elements of our body in tells a story—a powerful, nonverbal story.

For example, stand upright, shoulders straight, head up and eyes facing the front. Wear a big smile. Notice how you 'feel' emotionally.

Now-slump your shoulders, look at the floor and slightly shuffle your feet. Again, take a not of your emotional state.

Notice the difference?

Your audience surely will, and react to you and your message accordingly.

A strong, upright, positive body posture not only helps you breath easier (good for helping to calm nerves!) but also transmits a message of authority, confidence, trust and power.

If you find yourself challenged to maintain such a posture, practice in front of a mirror, or better yet join a speaking club like Toastmasters International.

Posture 2
The second type of 'posture' comes from your internal mental and emotional states.

You can have great body posture but without internal mental and emotional posture your words will sound hollow to your audience.

For example, the used car salesman at 'Dodgy Brothers Motors' might have great body posture and greet you with a firm handshake, a steady gaze and a friendly smile. But if in his heart he is seeing you as just another sucker then sooner or later his internal conflict between what he says and what he really thinks will cause him to 'trip up'.

His body will start betraying his real, underlying intentions and you'll start to feel uncomfortable around him, even if you can't figure out why.

But, if that same used car salesman had a genuine desire to help you find the right car for you, and he puts your needs before his own, then his words and actions will remain congruent (in harmony) with his underlying intentions and you will trust him, even though you might not be able to identify why.

I have seen some supposed 'self help' gurus who don't actually practice what they preach. Consequently their words ring hollow to me and their books, cds, dvds and training materials remain unpurchased.

I have met salesmen and women who don't actually make the money they claim to make in their 'fabulous business opportunity', and while their words are practiced and polished, and their body posture is 'perfect', their words ooze like honeyed poison frm their lips and I remain unconvinced.

This second type of 'posture' is fundamentally tied to truth and honesty. It is about 'walking the talk' and being who you say you are.

It's about not trying to sell something you don't believe in or use yourself. It's about not trying to pass yourself off as an expert when all you've ever done is read a book on the subject.

It's all about making sure that your words and your intentions are underpinned by truth and honesty. Because all of us, no matter how polished a presenter we might be, are at the mercy of our body and its ability to 'tell the truth' in spite of what our lips might utter. Nonverbal clues rule!

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Written communication
I could spend a lifetime writing about the art of written communication.

There is an art (and also a science) that can be learnt with diligence and practice. To write too formally; to write too informally; to write too briefly; to write too lengthily...

My first suggestion would be to avail yourself of one of the following three books, each of which is absolutely brilliant at giving you the skills and insights into effective business writing:

The Business Style Handbook: An A-to-Z Guide for Writing on the Job with Tips from Communications Experts at the Fortune 500 by Helen Cunningham and Brenda Greene

The Elements of Business Writing: A Guide to Writing Clear, Concise Letters, Memos, Reports, Proposals, and Other Business Documents by Gary Blake and Robert W. Bly

Effective Business Writing: Strategies, Suggestions and Examples by Maryann V. Piotrowski

From persuasive memos to complaint letters, sales letters to executive summaries -- these exceedingly useful guides help you to write clearly and in an appropriate format, style and tone. Each book has numerous examples that show how to overcome writer's block, organize messages for maximum impact, achieve an easy-to-read style, find an efficient writing system and much more.

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In conclusion...
There are five key elements that can make or break your attempt at successful nonverbal business communication:

Eye contact

Gestures

Movement

Posture, and

Written communication

Nonverbal communication in a business setting requires not only recognition of these elements, but confidence in meeting their challenges.

Nonverbal Communication in Business 1

2007-05-02T09:16:00.000+08:00

There are five key elements that can make or break your attempt at successful nonverbal communication in business:
Eye contact

Gestures

Movement

Posture, and

Written communication

Eye contact
Good eye contact helps your audience develop trust in you, thereby helping you and your message appear credible. Poor eye contact does exactly the opposite.

So what IS 'good' eye contact?

People rely on visual clues to help them decide on whether to attend to a message or not. If they find that someone isn't 'looking' at them when they are being spoken to, they feel uneasy.

So it is a wise business communicator that makes a point of attempting to engage every member of the audience by looking at them.

Now, this is of course easy if the audience is just a handful of people, but in an auditorium it can be a much harder task. So balance your time between these three areas:

slowly scanning the entire audience,

focusing on particular areas of your audience (perhaps looking at the wall between two heads if you are still intimidated by public speaking), and

looking at individual members of the audience for about five seconds per person.

Looking at individual members of a large group can be 'tricky' to get right at first.

Equally, it can be a fine balancing act if your audience comprises of just one or two members -- spend too much time looking them in the eyes and they will feel intimidated, stared at, 'hunted down'.

So here's a useful tip: break your eye-to-eye contact down to four or five second chunks.

That is, look at the other person in blocks that last four to five seconds, then look away. That way they won't feel intimidated.

Practice this timing yourself, away from others. Just look at a spot on the wall, count to five, then look away. With practice you will be able to develop a 'feel' for how long you have been looking into your audience member's eyes and intuitively know when to look away and focus on another person or object.

When focusing on individual members in a large meeting or auditorium, try and geographically spread your attention throughout the room. That is, don't just focus your personal gaze (as distinct from when you are scanning the room or looking at sections of the room) on selected individuals from just one part of the room. Unless you are specifically looking to interact with a particular person at that moment of your presentation, select your individual eye-contact audience members from the whole room.

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Gestures
Most of us, when talking with our friends, use our hands and face to help us describe an event or object - powerful nonverbal aids.

We wave our arms about, turn our hands this way and that, roll our eyes, raise our eyebrows, and smile or frown.

Yet many of us also, when presenting to others in a more formal setting, 'clam up'.

Our audience of friends is no different from our business audience — they all rely on our face and hands (and sometimes legs, feet and other parts of us!) to 'see' the bigger, fuller picture.

It is totally understandable that our nervousness can cause us to 'freeze up', but is is in our and our communication's best interests if we manage that nervousness, manage our fear of public speaking, and use our body to help emphasise our point.

To be continued

Negotiation - Planning For A Successful Outcome

2007-05-01T08:05:00.000+08:00

In any kind of negotiation the planning stage is probably the most important. Too often we go in badly prepared and end up giving concessions that reduce the overall profitability of the final deal. The importance of planning is in having a very clear idea before entering into the negotiation i.e.

• What are my objectives?

• What does the other side wish to achieve?

• What information will influence the final outcome of the negotiation?

• What concessions can I make?

• How am I going to achieve my objectives?

• What part will other people play in the negotiation?

Generally, the more time that is spent in planning and preparing for the negotiation, the more beneficial will be the final outcome.

Objectives:

Before entering into the negotiation, you need to have a clear idea of your objectives and try to work out those of the other side. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What exactly do I wish to achieve from this negotiation?

• Which of my objectives:

- Must I achieve?

- Do I intend to achieve?

- Would I like to achieve?

• What options or alternatives would be acceptable to me?

• What are the other sides. objectives?

• How does the other side see the negotiation?

Information:

It has often been said that information is power. In any negotiation, there will be four types of information that is important to the final outcome.

• What information do I have that the other side has also?

• What information do I have that the other side does not have?

• What information do I need to have before negotiating with the other side?

• What information does the other side need before it can negotiate with me?

This can be particularly important when negotiating with people who concentrate on price issues.

• What other things are important to this person?

• What pressures does he have on him to conclude the deal?

• How well is his company doing at the moment?

• How important is it that he deals with my company? etc.

The early phases of negotiation consist of both sides finding out more information before talking about a specific deal or set of alternatives. For example, if you find out the other side has a time deadline that only your company can meet, it may give you the chance to negotiate on more favourable price. If you know that the other side has recently expanded their production capacity, you may be able to negotiate more favourable terms in return for a commitment to buy certain volumes over an agreed time period.

By spending time as part of your preparation in listing what you already know and what you need to know, you will give yourself a better chance to negotiate well on your company’s behalf.

Concessions :

Negotiation is a process of bargaining by which agreement is reached between two or more parties. It is rare in negotiation for agreement to be reached immediately or for each side to have identical objectives. More often than not, agreements have to be worked out where concessions are given and received and this is the area where the profitability of the final outcome will be decided.

When preparing for negotiation, it is advisable to write down a realistic assessment of how you perceive the final outcome. Find out the limits of your authority within the negotiation and decide what you are willing and able to concede in order to arrive at an agreement, which satisfies all parties.

Concessions have two elements; cost and value. It is possible during negotiations to concede issues that have little cost to you but have great value to the other side. This is the best type of concession to make. Avoid, however, conceding on issues that have a high cost to you irrespective of their value to the other side.

When preparing for negotiations, ask yourself the following questions:

• What is the best deal I could realistically achieve in this negotiation?

• What is the likely outcome of the negotiation?

• What is the limit of my authority?

• At which point should I walk away?

• What concessions are available to me?

• What is the cost of each concession and what value does each have to either side?

Strategy:

Planning your strategy is important in negotiation. Once you know your objectives, you need to work out how you are going to achieve them. It is also useful to try and see the negotiation from the other side and try and work out what their strategy will be.

During the negotiation there will be opportunities to use various tactics and you need to decide which of these you feel comfortable with and at the same time recognise the tactics being used by the other side. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How am I going to achieve my objectives in this negotiation?

• What is the strategy of the other side likely to be?

• What tactics should I use within the negotiation?

• What tactics are the other side likely to use?

And Finally - Tasks :

If you go into negotiation with a colleague or colleagues, you need to decide during the preparation phase:

• What role will each team member take in the negotiation?

• How can we work together in the most effective way?

Some teams of negotiators appoint team leaders, note takers, observers and specialists, each with their own clearly defined authority and roles to perform. Having a clear understanding of roles within the negotiation will make the team approach much more effective.

Mobile Phones - The Communication Tool

2007-04-30T08:55:00.000+08:00

The role of communication is prerogative to context of the modern world. Take it for any business needs or to supplement any personal necessity, communication performs the role of abridging gaps of all possible loop-holes generating from the hinges of connective mediums.

Today with the aid of high-speed cellular network, any video, audio, or multimedia files can be shared with a blink of eye lid. The lightening fast mode of communication has resultantly posted a tremendous boost to the business functioning all over the world. Now with many mobile phones coming up with video calling or instant messaging, communication and the information sharing has become a tremendously fast and interesting process.

Today's phones are armed with powerful lenses. And with advanced image capturing abilities, boosted by several image enhancing features, mobile phones with cameras offer dimensions to communication. With the aid of video, sound and animation, mobile phones have increased the effectiveness of a communication process to an unimaginable extent.

Advent of MMS, SMS, and EMS (enhanced messaging services), has made a communication session adaptive to the sender's and receiver's demands and motives. All the three services have resultantly metamorphosed a unidirectional vocal communication process in to a more fun-filled event.

Mobile phones as communicative tools have resulted into fast-pacing a communication session. It is because of mobile phones that we are sure of an any-time any-where communication possibility. Today, let it be a business deal or a personal communication necessity, a mobile number is just enough to guide a necessary soul to the destination of the desired one, that too within a blink of an eye lid. It is because of this portable communication tool that loved ones at any corner of this vast world can be reached to. No wonder why it is amongst the most popular gadgets of this modern world. With a mobile phone in one hand, communicating anyone in this world has become just a so easy process today.

Communication - Essential for Successful Leadership

2007-04-24T08:25:00.000+08:00

Many people think that communicating with others involves transferring a precise piece of information from one mind to another; in reality nothing could be further from the truth, words, gestures and expressions do not, in themselves have meaning, however people have meaning for them.

Successful Leaders have developed the skill of being able to express themselves

It has been said that communication is a two-way process a sharing of ideas and thoughts between people; for communication to be effective we must not only learn how to send our message but also how to receive a response.

Communication, the fundamentals

Reading
Writing
Listening
Speaking

The basic reason for any type of communication is to prompt some form of behavioral response or action; quite often we discover that what we say or do does not always bring out the kind of response that we want. Before ideas can be accepted, they must be known and understood clearly by the listener.

The role of Emotions in effective communication

Exchanging facts is only a part of the process; the feelings and emotions that develop during the course of conversation strongly influence the behavior of all involved and ultimately the very outcome of communication.

Emotional factors that affect a conversation / communication

How you feel about the other persons ideas.
What you believe the other persons feels about your ideas
How the other person feels about your ideas
What the other person believes you fee about their ideas

Empathy, the KEY to successful communication

Empathy is understanding; once you understand the role that emotions play in communication, you will begin to put yourself in the other persons shoes, if you really seek to understand, you will be amazed at how positively people will respond to you. When you can present your ideas clearly, specifically and in terms that breed acceptance and understanding and by focusing on the needs of others you will develop empathy in your communications.

Fundamental principals of successful communication

The human mind functions in a very orderly fashion. It can only concentrate on one thought at a time.

If you attempt to communicate a number of ideas rapidly and in illogical sequence, the listeners mind will have great difficulty trying to follow and understand what is being said.

The human mind transposes words into pictures.
Because words mean different things to different people, the responses that they produce may not be the same for everyone. As you better understand the needs of others you will use words that elicit an emotional response in harmony with those needs, thereby enhancing communication.

Too many words will clutter up communication
When we fail to condense and simplify our communication, we leave the door wide open to time consuming misunderstanding and undesired response.

Always take care to insure that your objective in communicating is to develop mutual understanding, not to impress someone, or to make yourself appear smart by making someone else look stupid.

As Steven Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People says, Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Job Negotiation Tips - Strategies to Get a Raise

2007-04-23T09:02:00.000+08:00

You've been in your company for over three years now. You know that you have put in your worth in terms of salary, and more besides. You're loyal, you're polite and even warm to the bosses, you are nice to everyone in the office, and you know that you are the epitome of being a model employee.

But somehow, you are dissatisfied with how they compensate you. You surely want more. No one wants a salary fit only to buy milk. And this is when you should work on your raise-asking skills. And I'm pretty sure. You are desperate for job negotiation tips to show you the way. If you notice, no one ever got to the top by waffling or being indecisive. Let's look at the facts. Though Bill Gates played it nice, at the end of the day, he made an empire for himself by seizing things at the right moment, through shrewd strategy, stealth, and force that is unmatched.

Though negotiation should never be overtly forceful, it needs the gumption backed by shrewdness and strategy that we see in dynamic CEOs.

Job Negotiation Tip #1: Think Like a Would-Be Bill Gates.

When executives think, they don't waffle about. They brainstorm, research, strategize, and go into battle fully armed. Attack your raise-asking similarly. Mull over how you are going to get it. Research on how others got that raise. Research on the salaries of people on your level. Strategize on how you are going to do the timing of your salary-raise pitch. And arm yourself with courage, and a leak-proof plan on how to make your pitch to your boss.

Job Negotiation Tip #2: Applying the CEO Traits The Right Way

Of course, it's a big no-no to ask for a raise with an ego like the stereotypical CEO. When you go negotiate for that raise, leave the CEO ego behind, but keep the following traits:

● Keep a sharp mind at all times. When your boss interrogates you why you deserve that raise, be sure to back it up with the evidence why. Build a tight case. Make sure he can't say no.

● Be persuasive. Study the right words people use to get that raise surely. Pattern your pitch after the best raise-getting talks, and do it with that CEO confidence.

● Strike a balance between dynamism and humility. Be confident, but not egotistical, be aware of your strengths, but not be full of yourself, and never show that you feel like you're better than anyone else. Truly great people are humble.

Job Negotiation Tip #3: Learn More to Earn More

To get that CEO attitude down pat (to use for job negotiation), learn from the best of them. Learn from the best CEOs in the industry. Learn from Bill Gates. He toppled over Steve Jobs' head start in the personal computing industry through these key things:

● Being observant, picking up cues, and using these to your advantage.

--Bill Gates picked up on Steve Jobs' passionate request to not release a mouse-based Operating System before Jobs did, and released one months before Jobs released his. The result was a blow dealt to Apple Computer that edged it out of the market.

--Observe the conditions in your workplace. Observe what makes it likely for your boss to grant a raise. Then use that knowledge when you move in for the kill.

● Researching to deepen your understanding of what you are about to tackle. --Bill Gates had one of his employees look into how the Apple graphical, mouse-based operating system was created. This stealthy research gave him edge he needed to topple down Steve Jobs. --Arm yourself with knowledge about your boss' personality. What approaches persuade him to grant raises? Ask around, casually. Inject your probing in casual conversations with those successful in asking for a raise. Know what you are up against. Knowledge truly is power.

● Not being afraid to step up and take what you want by force.

--Bill Gates used the previous two skills to stack the cards against Steve Jobs. Eventually, he made the bold move and rendered Apple Computer crippled for ten entire years (1989-1998).

--No successful person ever succeeded by waiting for success to fall on his lap. Take heart, take courage, and go get that raise!

Job negotiation requires skill and strategy. These job negotiation tips are culled from the habits of those who made it to the top. Read, study, strategize, learn, mull over, and have courage. You can get that raise. Arm yourself with knowledge, and nail that raise!

Effective Tips on Good Business Negotiation

2007-04-20T08:33:00.000+08:00

Negotiation is a big part of the business world. Every day, businessmen and women negotiate to close big deals. However, negotiation is also used to solve disputes between one or more parties. Negotiation is used to allow all parties involved feel that they have come out winning. The power to be a skilled negotiator is not something you are born with, it takes years of practice to hone this skill, and when perfected, you will have a certain power.

To become a skilled negotiator, there are several guidelines that one must follow in order to be successful. These guidelines have been proven to work with thousands of people around the world.

When you are the negotiator of one or more angry parties, avoid using the word negotiate. It makes that parties feel like they are settling and you will ultimately fail. Using positive statements such as Lets work things out or you may be interested in this...

Try not to use anything remotely close to negative terms, parties will grasp on to it and feel that they are being cheated. When you make a proposal that denotes positive words, more often than not, people will listen.

Before you start your negotiations, you need to sit down and look at both parties. Try to find a commonality between the two as a starting point. You need to set goals as to where you want the negotiations to go and set your priorities. You want to try and limit the amount of anger that will be brought to the table.

It is also important to try and figure out different scenarios that could lead to complications in your negotiations.

Any obstacles you can overturn before the negotiations begin will only assist you in completing your task sooner. You are negotiating to reach an equitable solution for both parties. It is crucial that you are prepared for anything when you go into negotiations.

When you enter into negotiations, state what your goals are right from the start. Do not make small talk, both parties are there to solve their dispute. When you do not start negotiating, it may appear that you are a weak negotiator. Having a clear and concise plan will ensure confidence.

It is important that you make all parties feel comfortable. If one person feels that you are not offering something to his advantage, he will start to feel resentful toward you. If you want the cooperation of everyone involved, you need to inform each person of the benefits of settling the negotiations. A good negotiator will listen to the viewpoint of each person and work from there.

Always be positive. Make sure that all parties work together and offer positive reinforcement by reciting past success stories. If parties in negotiations know that this strategy has worked in the past they may be more receptive to the idea.

Perhaps the most fundamental rule of negotiations is that you treat everyone with respect. Giving a gift to each party member as show of good faith will inevitably gain their respect. Have small plates of snacks available. People tend to get cranky when they are hungry. By treating others with respect you are being viewed the same.

5 Keys to Powerful Communication

2007-04-19T09:22:00.000+08:00

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, “If I just don’t say anything, I can get past it”?

The problem is most of us can’t get past it. It simmers and swells until we near our boiling point. Finally, we explode. The problem has magnified itself beyond rational conversation. From this miscommunication comes a personal, relational and emotional mess.

I have developed, tested and proven 5 very critical keys to effective and powerful communication. First, you and your partner must give each other permission to discuss your feelings and issues that arise between yourselves. This is very difficult for most people. Why? It requires respect for yourself and your partner. You must have a non-defensive and non-judgmental environment, free from hidden agendas and defenses. Forming this connection will help you to see the others perspective and create a constructive environment.

After we have created this new and trusting environment, the next four keys will challenge and guide you to process information using a new method of constructive communication. Create a new standard and process for yourself (LTRR). What is LTRR?

LTRR, the code to creating and shifting perspective:

Listen- We hear but we are not listening. When we disagree with someone or something, we tend to begin to formulate our reactive response long before the speaking has ended. Take time to listen to all of the information or view.

Think- Process the information you received; all of it. Try to appreciate their perspective. What are the strengths and weaknesses of this perspective? Is it morally acceptable to me? How does this fit or clash with my perspective.

Reframe- Ask yourself questions to help you get clear on a new or different perspective. A question such as; what is your perspective on this that is giving you trouble? What perspective could I take from this that would lead to a more empowered position?

Respond- Finally it’s time to respond. Notice that it doesn’t say react. Respond implies thought and reasoning. Organize your thoughts and your perspective. Share it with others.

Try it. It will be difficult at first and you’ll be dying to react, but don’t. Personally, I utilize a 7 second rule. I don’t respond to new ideas and perspectives until 7 seconds after the person has finished speaking. At first, I had to consciously remind myself; listen, think, reframe, and respond. Now, it just happens. It will just happen for you too.

Communication is a learned skill that requires continuous development and practice. The more we apply these tools, the better we become at utilizing these skills. Just simply giving each other permission to have hurt feelings, ask for specific outcomes and communicate our needs can produce amazing results.

Negotiation Skills - Importance & Techniques

2007-04-18T08:40:00.000+08:00

Negotiation is an important tool, that all of us use at different times, at different phase of our life, to achieve different goals. The first time probably we negotiated in our life, when as a child we kept shouting for mother's milk. The negotiations are typically tagged with a price, which may or not be expressed in monetary term. For example a marital negotiation has a typical price line of social status, whereas a negotiation in the job interview the price line is clearly money. There can be more than one one price line also, provided there are different areas involved in the negotiation. For example in a union-management negotiation apart form salary, there can be price lines involving working conditions and industrial relations.

To negotiate effectively one must do a proper hoe work on the self strength and weaknesses vis-a-vis the strength and weaknesses of the other side. In the negotiation table, it will all depend upon how one can keep up with the nerve. Thus, it is very important to know the bottom-line of the price where the negotiator can settle. The body language is also extremely important in negotiation. The price may be social recognition, peer recognition and many others. A negotiation may take place either on 1 to 1 or may involve more than two parties.

It all depends on how well one has prepared about the background and strength areas of the other side. It is also important to know the dynamics of the power game.

Intrapersonal Communication

2007-04-17T09:06:00.000+08:00

What is intrapersonal communication?
It is communicating with yourself.

Most people and courses bypass this very important and crucial step in being able to communicate. You must be able to communicate with yourself before you can communicate with others. This is something that I repeat and a point that I try to drive home, due the essential nature of this first step in connecting with others.

It can be surprising the number of people who do not know what they want or where they want to go and hope that other people will figure it out for them. I have seen these same people get upset when others are unable to mind read for them, what they have been unable to discover for themselves.

Many people have stated that much of their stress in life is from a feeling of not having any control in their lives. The essential first step in gaining control is getting a clear understanding with yourself, on what you want. Then you must be able to figure out the details of that desire and the steps necessary to achieving it.

We need to do this in all areas of our lives, and have an idea, in each area, how we would like to achieve it. This puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. You can be the one in control instead of having others control you.

You will then be able to communicate to others what your wishes and desires are. This will enable you to attract to you what you need, to go where you want to head.
(Reread that last sentence 2 or 3 times and let it sink in)

It is important to remember the to achieve what you want in life is to know, that "to master communication is to master wealth and to master wealth is to master communication, and that starts with yourself.

I find that this can be a challenge for many people. Some women feel that it isn't right to think about them selves and that they should think about others first. The challenge here and I have discovered this myself, is that you can't truly look after others until you take care of yourself.

Even men can have trouble with this. I hear things like, I don't have time. Yet, there are many ways to fit it in. On a deeper level, many are afraid of looking at what they want or desire. There is a fear of disappointment, not being able to do it or even of succeeding and what that might mean.

There are many ways through the process of discovery and of finding the path to what you desire. The first step is just to begin. Start writing in a journal. Start writing what you want in life and build on it from there. The important thing is to start.

Negotiation - Understanding Your Sources Of Power

2007-04-16T08:21:00.000+08:00

One of the main differences between negotiators is how confident they feel when negotiating. Typically, the more confident we feel, and the better we are prepared, the more successful will be the outcome of our negotiations.

Personal power comes from many sources. To build up and increase our confidence as negotiators we need to step back and analyse the sources of our personal power and compare them with those of the people with whom we are negotiating.

Power is not absolute. In most negotiating relationships the power balance moves with time as the negotiation progresses.

Here are just a few examples of sources of power:

Information Power:

Information power comes from having knowledge that will influence the outcome of the negotiation. Planning and research can increase our information power, as can asking the right questions before we reach the bargaining phase of the negotiation.

Reward Power:

Reward power comes from having the ability to reward the other party in the negotiation. It could be the power a buyer has to place an order for goods and services or the power a salesperson has to give good service and solve problems

Coercive Power:

Coercive power is the power to punish. This is seen most commonly in the buyer- seller relationship, but can be a feature of other types of negotiation.

Situation Power:

Situation power is the power that comes from being in the right place at the right time. A customer is desperate to place an order and you are the only source of supply in the short term. Having an effective network and keeping in touch with what is happening can increase your situation power.

Expertise Power:

Expertise power comes from having a particular skill which you can apply and which can influence the outcome of the negotiation. Improving negotiation skills helps you win better deals. Other areas of expertise could also help the outcome of the negotiation.

And Finally - Referent Power:

Referent power comes from being consistent over time. If people see you as having a clear, consistent strategy as a negotiator, you will increase your referent power. Having standards that you stick to and being consistent will help to increase your referent power. In the eighties, Margaret Thatcher wasn’t universally popular, but was respected by many for being consistent in her views and behaviour. In the end she failed because her approach was too rigid and she was unable to adapt to changing circumstances.

D-List Part 3

2007-04-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

These blogs have the ‘no follow’ link disabled from the comments, which means that if you comment on these sites, you will get an actual link. If you would like to be included here, please let me know.

If you find this list useful, please consider linking to it.

This DoFollow Blog list is courtesy of Courtney Tuttle and was created originally by Coleen as the D-List.

Jonlee
Jones PC
JOIN - Do Follow Bloggers **
Julies
Journal
Just Not Martha
Kansha Shite
Knitting Fiend, The
Last Blogger
LeaveAmerica
Life in the Fast Lane
Life Is Risky
Life Learning Today
Life Of A School Bus Driver, The
Life Passion Travel & More
Life through eyes of Krissy
Lifecruiser
LittleAmerica.us
Live Life Organics & Your Health
Magical Rose Garden
Marketing Blagger
Master Cleanse
Midlife Musings
Mom is Nutz
MomReviews.net
Mothering Many
My Credit Group
My Dandelion Patch
My Home Recipe
My Muddled Mind
My Opinion Counts
My Thoughts, Ideas, and Ramblings
Nanashi-Inc.net
New Century Politics
No Average Mom
Odd Planet
On the Horizon
Open Road Biker

To be continued

Powerful Negotiation Tips

2007-03-22T11:40:00.000+09:00

article by Glen Ebersole

Each day we face some opportunity for negotiation. Let’s face it, negotiation is a part of our every day life and dare I say that almost everything is negotiable? So being able to acquire powerful negotiation skills so you can negotiate effectively and successfully can make a big difference in your outcomes. The use of strategic thinking is a natural fit in negotiations and is critical to successful outcomes.

One of the first things you must realize to become a powerful negotiator is that negotiation is a skill and that this skill must be mastered in order to get almost any deal you want with less effort than you could imagine. To help you acquire the skills of a powerful negotiator, here are twelve (12) powerful negotiation tips from your strategic thinking business coach.

Clearly define and focus on what you want and be willing to negotiate. You must be willing to “talk money” when it comes time to doing a deal. Don’t be shy about trying to turn something that may not immediately appear to be a negotiable item into being one.

Park your emotions outside from where the negotiations take place. It is critically important to keep calm, focused, patient, professional and friendly at all times, including those times when the other person loses his or her cool.

Make the other person be the first person to name a figure. It is important to get the other person to say a number first. For example, if someone asks your hourly rate, respond by asking him or her what is the budget?

Ask for more than you expect to receive. Without being arrogant or aggressive, you can say to the other person that you think they will have to do better than the offer they made to you.

Act less interested than what you really are. It is important to convey the impression that you are willing to walk away from a deal. You can portray a reluctant buyer or seller and his can do amazing things for getting a better deal.

Know whether you are in a “buyers” or “sellers” market and plan your strategies accordingly.

Know that you have the ability to question the “rules” the other person may try to use on you when signing a contract. Remember that you are the one signing the contract and have the right to make any changes you want before signing it and then let them know that if they are not happy with the changes, then something can be worked out.

Strive to end the negotiations with both parties feeling satisfied with the outcome. Be willing to give up things that don’t really matte to you in order to create goodwill.

Let the other person know you have options. The fact is that the side that has the most options has the most power. Work to let the other party know that you have options.

Learn to read and use body language in your negotiations to know what they are thinking and to send them a message you want them to as reinforcement to what you have said.

Reserve your option to go to higher authority. Tell the other party that you have a higher authority that has to approve the deal, without telling them that you can make a decision in the negotiation. And make the higher authority some vague entity such as a committee or board of directors.
Strive to make the other party offer to “split the difference” in negotiations. This way you can possibly get them to split the difference again or if they will not, then reluctantly agree and give them the perception that they won.

The Art of Communication

2007-03-20T00:24:00.000+09:00

Are you tired of having upsets with the people in your life? Do you want to learn the art of communication so that you can experience successful relationships with your family, friends, and the people you work with? Then read the 16 important keys to successful communication.

I care about you, and I am committed to communicating with you in constructive ways. I realize that I am responsible for all my thoughts and feelings. I am willing to be present and to listen to you. My focus is on accepting both of our viewpoints, and creating win-win situations and solutions. It is such a joy to communicate with you, and to maintain the bridge between us so that we can be close. I like feeling close to you."

Now that you are clear about your goal, here are some guidelines that can help you keep your communication agreement.

1. Take the time to communicate with yourself; tune into your own thoughts and feelings to be clearly aware of what you want to share with others.

2. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings by beginning your sentences with "I."

3. Ask for what you want instead of telling people what you do not want. For example, "I would like you to calmly tell me what you want," is better than, "Don't yell at me!"

4. Understand that communication is sharing opinions and feelings. Avoid debating which is trying to prove right or wrong.

5. Make a statement first so people know what you are thinking. Then ask them for their opinion. For example, "I would like to go to the movie. Would you like to go?"

6. Avoid mind reading. If you are unclear about any communication, ask for specifics. For example, "How do you mean that? What do you mean?"

7. Watch for non-verbal messages-gestures, posture, tone of voice, etc., to fully understand what the person is saying.

8. Rather than giving advice, point out the different choices you see, and allow the other person to make their own decisions.

Persuasive Negotiation - Tips to Get What You Want

2007-03-16T14:46:00.000+09:00

article by Peter Fisher

Negotiation skills are another form of persuasion, which, when used carefully will ensure you get what you want. What you need to be sure about, though, is what you do actually want; so you must have in mind a really clear idea of your intention before you engage in this persuasion exercise.

When you think about who you want to persuade, what benefits will they gain from your persuasion?

Your proposition will be received much more receptively if you have in mind what benefits they expect to gain.

If you can step into their shoes and empathise with their situation, what benefits can you perceive from their viewpoint?

When you have a good idea of what the other person wants and you keep that positive intention in your mind you will automatically create a rapport between you.
Creating this rapport means that the other person relates to you as someone with the same values and qualities as they have. Now you are in a position to ask questions that they will not consider hostile or intrusive,they will open up allowing you to discover what is important to them.

Now, to be successful with your persuasive negotiation, follow these negotiation tips. An important point to remember is talk less, listen more and focus on the person you are engaged with. In other words sit there and listen as they give you all the high quality information that you can then use to powerfully persuade and guide them!

By paying attention you will notice that people use certain words which may have a lot of emotional value attached.

You will also notice that that many people use words or phrases that indicate how they perceive the world around them.

Listen for the obvious phrases like "I see it this way..." or "It looks to me..." both of which mean the person is what you could call visually oriented.

Alternatively you might hear them say "It sounds as if..." or "that rings a bell..." and you can tell they are somewhat auditory in perception. Other people may say "I'm not sure I can get hold of that..." or "that's a solid idea..." giving you a clue as to the tangible world their minds inhabit.
These are just simple clues, and there are many others when you start to listen. To build the important rapport when negotiating persuasively, try to match your words and phrases so that they are in a similar style. Talking to a visually oriented person with word pictures and questions (How do you see this?), is more effective for your negotiation than talking within a different style.

D-List Part 2

2007-03-03T14:49:00.000+09:00

These blogs have the ‘no follow’ link disabled from the comments, which means that if you comment on these sites, you will get an actual link. If you would like to be included here, please let me know.

If you find this list useful, please consider linking to it.

This DoFollow Blog list is courtesy of Courtney Tuttle and was created originally by Coleen as the D-List.

Andy Beard
Ang’s Chicken Coop
Are we there yet
Army Mom:New Jersey
Art Kauffman
Article Writer, The
Ask Jason
Ask Jason Business
Axplay
BenSpark,
The BenSpark 2: Electric Boogaloo
BiggerPockets
BizMark Tech
BlogAboutMoneyOnline
BloggingForBills
BloggingTips
Blogging WV
Blogocola
Blogozine
BMonaco
BodyFitnessInfo
Body, Mind & Solar
Boston Brat
BrownSista
Buy better - Have a Better Life
BuyMeBlog
Buzz Queen, The
By the Sea
Cade’s WriteToRight
CampingCoop.org
Candid Quips
Charmed and Dangerous
Cheffin\’ It!!
Clapping Trees
Colloquium
Comedy Plus
Community Building Blog
Curious Cat Science
Confessions of a Housewife
Confessions of an Everyday housewife
CoolAdzine for Marketers
Craftblog
Crafts 4 Dummies
David Dairey
Dont Fear the Truth
DorisGoShopping.com
Down Memory Lanes
Ecomm Tips
EMomsAtHome
EMoneyMarketing
Endangered Spaces
Fibromyalgia Experiment, The
Finding Life\’s Enchantments
FitForFreedom
Flatwater Tech
Fools Wisdom
FootPrints On the Moon
Fuzzy Future

To be continued

20 PR Insights

2007-02-23T09:39:00.000+09:00

Jamie Dammrich, a public relations student, puts together a list of concerns and ways for PR to deal with blogs. 20 bloggers are identified and their writings reviewed for a short paragraph.

The blogging success study is mentioned, but I'd ad my article to the list I wrote it back in january at my old Backbone Media blog, "blogger relations is not media relations for bloggers."

Join the Conversation - Take the Survey

2007-02-22T10:26:00.000+09:00

The Society for New Communications Research is delighted to announce that we are conducting our first Social Media Survey in conjunction with Joseph Jaffe. The findings of this research will be used in his new book, Join the Conversation, which will be published in this summer. We believe this study is unique in terms of its depth and particular focus and perspective.

We invite you to be a part of this conversation by taking part in this research project. Completion of the survey should take about 15 minutes. Your responses will be kept confidential by our research partner (Twisurveys, Inc.). Should you wish to do so, you can also volunteer for a more in-depth interview with Joseph Jaffe by including your name and address at the end of the survey.

To thank you for your time and participation, we would be happy to provide you with the executive summary of our research findings and an invitation to attend the Society for New Communications Research Symposium in Boston in December, where Joseph Jaffe and SNCR Research Fellows will discuss this research.

Introduction to the Survey:

New communications tools are changing the relationships between organizations, employees and consumers. They've enabled the creation of virtual markets and new relationships between individuals and brands. Some organizations are initiating and participating in conversations with their customers, employees, partners and industries. This is referred to in this survey as “conversational marketing.”

Purpose of the survey:

To assess the awareness and knowledge of senior marketers of conversational marketing and their priorities for including it in their marketing and communications strategies and measurement.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE SURVEY HERE NOW.

Achieve Success with Positive Communication

2007-02-21T10:48:00.000+09:00

Positive communication is the key to success in every part of your life. That includes at work, at play, and at home.

Use these six tips to communicate effectively.
1) People judge others by their actions. This means you are being judged by the perceptions you create with your words and actions. For example, if you act angry, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being hostile. If you sound helpless, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being ineffective. Thus, choose actions and words that convey the impression you want to make.

2) People judge themselves by their intentions. Thus, acknowledge that the other person's actions or words are correct and proper (as seen by that other person). Even when someone's behavior appears completely absurd, that person most likely believes it is justified.

3) Everyone deserves courtesy and respect. Diplomacy gains more than hostility. It is always the best way to begin a dialogue. After all, no one has ever had to apologize for being courteous. When you treat others with respect, you set the standard for how you want to be treated.

4) Everyone has valuable ideas. Everyone is an expert in some area. Everyone has unique talents. A leader helps other people excel at expressing their ideas.

5) You can accept anything without agreeing with it. Thus, acknowledge amazing requests with statements such as:

"That's an interesting idea."

"That's a novel request."

"What an intriguing question."

6) Realize that you can always learn more about the other person's needs, priorities, and situation. Ask questions. Seek solutions. Think positive. Quick reactions often lead to apologies. Start by being thoughtful and seeking to understand fully.

How to Avoid "A failure to Communicate"

2007-02-19T08:47:00.000+09:00

Communication skills do not require a graduate degree, just some common sense, a bit of homework and a better understanding of the role communication plays. It can open many doors, both within and beyond the workplace.

You've seen it in every classified ad and most job descriptions: must have excellent communication skills. Even worse, once hired, it reappears annually each review period: Improve communication skills. What's a person to do? Communication skills don't require a graduate degree, just common sense, a bit of homework and a better understanding of the role communication plays — in everything: Listen. You don't have to speak like John F. Kennedy or orate like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr to be considered a good communicator. Listening skills are the most ignored aspect of good communication skills. More misunderstandings occur due to poor listening than to misstatements. Want to be a good listener? Suspend that urge to speak while others are speaking. Don't begin to prepare what you'll say next. Listen actively and intently, with ears, eyes, mind and body. Are you following what's being said? If so, nod in agreement. If not, a furrowed brow indicates you're confused. Your speaker needs these cues. If you truly heard and understood, repeat it back in your own words. This lets both parties know they're on the same wavelength. Mind Your ABCs. Some people turn complex topics into simple explanations. Sadly, others' talents lie in the opposite direction: making simple topics complex. I strive to mind my ABCs: Accuracy, Brevity and Clarity. Gen. Douglas MacArthur once remarked that even more important than giving orders that could be understood was issuing orders that couldn't be misunderstood. Whether or not lives are at stake, your reputation as a communicator may be. People appreciate short sentences; they are often confused by long, convoluted ones. Keep it succinct. Are you labeled missing in action? Some excellent communicators are deemed less so for not contributing in meetings. A foreign-born coaching client from overseas was culturally uncomfortable speaking up, so others monopolized the meetings, often rudely interrupting to make a point. Her timidity, coupled with self-consciousness surrounding her command of English, resulted in her wallflower demeanor. Now the night before meetings she reviews the agenda, composes her thoughts and rehearses making powerful yet concise statements about items of the day. To others her remarks appear off-handed. She's thus perceived as a more powerful and effective communicator. She's also developed a nice yet firm statement when she's interrupted, which reminds people she hasn't yielded the floor yet. After a few invocations of this phrase, others respect her opinions better. Her boss has noticed and applauded her new assertiveness. It takes two. I knew a worker who was fired for her boss's inadequacies as a communicator. Don't pay the price for another's communication shortcomings. It may require some work on your part, but it's worth the effort. I once had a boss who listened, but never asked questions. After a while I anticipated the questions that needed to be asked and posed them myself, or simply provided responses as if he'd asked them. I would go prepared to each meeting with a list of project-related questions, which showed my foresight and attention to detail. It benefited us both. Write speech. It sounds like a Buddhist precept, yet remember, writing is a big part of communication. Let e-mails, weekly reports and other writings reinforce your clear thinking, organizational skills, attention to detail and ability to express important ideas. Make your writing easy to read. Speling madders, even in e-mail. Use white space, numbered lists and bulleted items to communicate more effectively. Titles, subtitles and lists similarly add cogency. Write your piece, set it aside for a spell, then review it and strike out 25 percent to say it more succinctly. Speak up. Consider taking a public speaking class, joining a local Toastmasters club (www.toastmasters.org) to improve your oral communication skills. The new skills, offline practice and confidence gleaned will help you in meetings, in giving reports and in making presentations. Excellent communication skills help in many ways. With practice you can confidently give a speech, make a cold call, train others; conduct a meeting, make a sales presentation, interview someone or be interviewed. Improved communication skills can open many doors, both within and beyond the workplace. It's time you sharpen your CQ — Your Communication Quotient!

Real Estate Negotiation - Seller Motivation

2007-02-16T14:44:00.000+09:00

Better real estate negotiation means learning the motivations of the seller. Here are some ways to do that, and how to use the information you get.

One of the most important principles of real estate negotiation is to learn why the seller is selling. More than that though, you want to try to learn the seller's motivations for every aspect of the process. In other words, learn not just why he wants to sell, but also why he wants to sell a particular way, why he wants the price he is asking, what's important to him when making decisions, and more.

Watch for personal motivators, too. Is the seller more motivated by what she reads or by what she hears? Is she more motivated by the promise of a fast sale, or a high price? Listen for clues.

A seller who continually says, "I see" is probably more visually oriented and motivated. You want to show such a seller the advantages of your offer. Don't just explain the offer, but point out on paper why it can work for you both.

Statements like "I just don't want any problems," or "I just want to be done with this" indicate she is more motivated to avoid stress than by positive goals. In this case, you would want to make the process as easy as you can for the seller. You might also suggest that this is her chance to "be done" with selling.

Early in your real estate negotiations, gather any information you can on the seller's motivations, then decide how to use this information. For example, I have a friend who likes to see himself as a shrewd negotiator. Letting him "win" a lot of small concessions is a sure way to get what you need most. Use a seller's own motivators, and even their own words. If they say "I understand" a lot, then start a statement with "I think you understand why..."

It is even easier to use the specific motivations involved. If you learn that a buyer of your house wants to be able to tell his friends what a great price he got, push hard on every other area. Get the terms you want, have him pay all the closing costs, etc. Take the attitude that if he'll give you what you want, he'll get what he wants.

A little more sophistication is called for most of the time, of course. You can't just say "Oh, you want that? Then give me this." Negotiate hard in all areas, but let him "win" the concessions he wants from you, and downplay what you have won. You'll both be happier in the end. There are many important principles involved in real estate negotiation, but you can't go wrong starting with an understanding of a seller's motivations.

Ecological Negotiation

2007-02-15T16:17:00.000+09:00

Negotiation is a process of trying to arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion about something. It could be a sales situation; it could be a behavioral contract; it could be a cease fire. Negotiation is basically an agreement. What makes negotiation’s time consuming is that each party involved often has numerous needs that require some kind of guarantee of satisfaction. Until those needs are at least addressed in some way, there will be objections.

Objections are critically important in successful negotiations and taking into account all objections is ecological. That is, it takes into account varying components of the system. Negotiations often prove a failure after the fact because one or more of the parties does not express their objections to the proposed settlement. Then, after the negotiation is over, they start to feel shortchanged and don’t abide by the agreement.

In every successful negotiation it is critically important that objections be addressed. Some people involved in the negotiation may be shy or reserved about voicing objections. The facilitator or leader must draw out objections from participants so they can be discussed. Once out in the open, objections can be analyised and the need or concern they represent satisfied. For example, let’s say a couple is in marital counseling negotiating a behavioral contract. The husband wants the wife to contribute her paycheck into the joint checking account but she wants to open her own checking account. She objects to putting her money into the joint checking account. A good question to ask to understand the reason for the objection is “what would happen if you did put your money in the joint checking account?” This requires the wife to verbalize her concerns. She might say “I wouldn’t feel as though I had some of my own money to spend in my own way whenever I wanted to for whatever reason.” The negotiator might then say “If you knew you could spend your money any way you wanted whenever you wanted for whatever you wanted even with the money in a joint checking account, would you then be ok with the joint checking account?” The wife might ponder this and if she says yes the condition upon which the negotiation would be successful is clarified. But, if she says no that indicates there is yet another objection which has not yet been verbalized. At that point, the negotiator needs to uncover a deeper layer of objection. This is accomplished largely through asking specific questions.

This process of uncovering layers of objection is the ecological part of negotiation. It ensures that all parties involved or all parts of a single person’s mind have addressed every single objection. Ecological negotiation is one of the most effective means of behavior change because although we may say we want to change behaviors, for example, to quit smoking, we find it difficult or fail because there is also a part of us that does not want to change. A person who says they want to lose weight might be surprised to find there is a part of them that objects to that goal. Ecological negotiation attempts to find the reason behind not wanting to lose weight and try and satisfy that need in some other way. For example, being overweight can serve a need. In some it might be power, in others it might be protection. Without discovering the need that being overweight serves and finding other ways to meet that need, there will be an objection to losing weight.

Everyone has needs and most all behavior is designed to meet those needs. Ecological negotiation takes this into account and recognizes that all objections are a way of saying “hey, if that happens my needs won’t be met so I’m going to object.” By accepting the objection in that light and helping that need be met in other ways, the negotiator removes obstacles to a truly successful negotiation.

The Key to Communication

2007-02-14T09:01:00.000+09:00

In improv comedy, the worst thing a performer can do is to try to control everything around them. There is so much going on during a performance that it would be impossible to control everything, and yet people do try. This same principle applies to any group endeavor.

Fundamentally, the key to effective communication and teamwork is control sharing. Control is at the heart of why some teams work wonderfully well together while others flounder. The premise behind teamwork is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. One person working alone will come up with a series of ideas. Introduce a second person, and you get a second set of ideas. However, some new ideas will also emerge only after one person hears something that the other person says. As a result, you get a third set of ideas that neither person would have come up with alone. The only way to find that third set of ideas, however, is for each person to let go of their first set and be willing to work together. This is where control becomes vitally important. If one person is unwilling to let go of an idea, then no matter what ideas the second person brings up, the first person will never explore it and discover that critical third set.

Control is a tricky thing. While the degree of desire varies, people like to be in control. Willingly relinquishing control is a scary thing. This is what a person must do when he or she lets go of an idea – give up the control they have by virtue of the fact that it is their idea. Even though relinquishing control is scary, it is vital for a strong team.

Trust and self-confidence are very important here. For me to give up control to you, I need to trust you to be able to do something good with that control. I also need to believe that no matter how much control I give up now I will have the resources to contribute and follow along with the new ideas.

Look at a shared experience team building event where participants are forced to work together to achieve a goal (build a pyramid, vote together, pass something down a line, etc). Even if the game is designed in such a fashion that each member must contribute, the concept of control is rarely introduced. Usually, one or two ‘Alpha’, or ‘Type A’ personalities will take charge and dictate how the task should be done. Everyone participates (kind of), has fun (sort of), and learns that they can work together (maybe). They do not, however, learn the personal skills that’s going to allow them to maximize their teamwork back at work.

On an improv comedy stage, the performers who relinquish control always manage to get their input in and are the ones best received by the audience. They are also the performers that everyone else enjoys working with, because by giving up the control they help everyone else look good.

Can you imagine what a business team would be like if everyone’s goal was to help each other look good? That would be a strong team indeed…

Communication Keys for Success

2007-02-13T09:24:00.000+09:00

Improving communication is a major need for many organizations.

Whether you are a manager, supervisor, or frontline employee, there are always opportunities to improve communication. Often, communication problems occur when people don’t pay attention to the basics. Here are five keys to better communication.

Focus on the Situation or Behavior
When communicating, focus on the situation or the behavior occurring, not the person. This allows you to better communicate with the other person, rather than to seemingly pick on them. People tend to be more open to discussing the situation they are in or their behavior. When it gets personal, there is less willingness to change.

Focus on the Positive
Focus on the positive aspects of the other person to build the other person’s self-esteem. By looking at something positive about the other person, you can better deal with areas needed for improvement.

Look for "Win-Win" Opportunities
Look for opportunities where both you and the other person benefit -- "win-win" situations where both of you can develop. In today’s rapidly changing world, managers, supervisors, and frontline employees can always learn from each other.

Strive for Open Communication
Strive for open and direct communication with others. A manager or supervisor can speak in a direct and clear manner and still show respect for the other person. Clear expectations provide direction for a job well done.

Share Information
Share appropriate information with others. Organizations are realizing that they are all on the same team. Better sharing of information means that managers, supervisors and frontline employees are better informed and can provide improved customer service.

Reprint Information
Your organization may reprint this article for your newsletter, online publication, or mailing list. We ask that you print the:

-article in its entirety;
-byline of the writer;
-information about the writer, which is available at the end of each article; and
-contact information, including our toll-free phone number in the U.S. (800-886-2MAX) and website address (www.AchieveMax.com)
We would appreciate a tear sheet or electronic copy of the articles you reprint.

Negotiation Skills You Need To Know

2007-02-09T08:43:00.000+09:00

There are many negotiation skills you need if you want to be a master negotiator. Finding deadlines is one of the important ones.

One of the most important negotiation skills you can develop is to get in the habit of finding the other side's deadline. Time is of the essence. It even says as much on most business and real estate contracts. What does this mean in negotiating? It means that whoever controls or understands the elements of time involved in a negotiation has the better position.

Many years ago I was looking at a truck for sale. I asked the owner why he was selling (always a good idea). He told me that the IRS was coming after him and he needed to sell the truck by the weekend (It was Tuesday). When do you think you would be able to negotiate the best price on the truck? Maybe right now, but certainly on Friday if the truck is still available. On Friday he would be desperate to get what he could from the truck before it was seized by the IRS.

Using Deadlines As A Negotiation Tool

This guy wasn't using good negotiation skills. He gave away too much information. More specifically, he gave away his deadline. One of the most important things to understand in negotiating is deadlines. The two things to remember about them are: 1. Don't give away your deadline(s), and 2. Find the other side's deadline(s).

Find out whatever you can about any relevant deadlines. Sometimes there isn't a clear deadline, or there are several deadlines for different parts of the negotiation. Whatever the case, the more information you can gather about those deadlines, the better.

How do you use that information once you have it? The crudest method is to simply delay and wait until the last moment to negotiate. This only works if the other side doesn't walk away, and if your own deadline permits it. It also requires that there are not others who can take your place (as is clearly the case with a truck for sale - it might not be there Friday).

A bit of sophistication is required to use this information effectively. You may want to start by identifying what is most important to you in the negotiation. For example, if you are buying an apartment building, is the price or the terms the crucial element for you?

Let's assume that price is most important to you. When you wrote the offer, you put some price on it, but you have inspections and other contingencies that allow for everything to be renegotiated. The process of inspections and negotiations ties up the property, so your competition is excluded for the moment. Then you learn that owner really wants to sell by the start of the school year, because he will be moving with his children.

Work on everything else in the negotiations except the price. Have inspections done, agree on what will be included with the property, etc. As the seller's "deadline" approaches, he will be getting anxious to close the deal. Then you let him know you're ready to close quickly. Of course, you'll need the price adjusted due to the results of the inspections.

At this point the seller has the choice of throwing away the whole deal. This means starting over, and not moving when he wanted to. Alternately, he can be happy that he got what he wants most - a quick close. This means giving you your price.

This points up the importance of getting information on the other's deadline, but also the importance of not revealing your own. When I was a real estate agent I heard the story of a man who sold his property for a large profit. He had to pay $80,000 in capital gains taxes unless he rolled the money into another property, as a "title 31 exchange." He had 60 days to close on the new property.

Imagine the abuse he would open himself to if, with ten days to go, the seller learned of his deadline and the cost of the buyer missing it. He could threaten to delay closing unless the buyer paid $10,000 extra for some old coin-operated washing machines, for example. Overpay by a few thousand, or lose $80,000. What do you think he would do?

For an everyday example of using deadlines, try buying your next car towards the end of the month. Many times there are quotas that dealerships want to meet for the month, and bonuses that salesmen get for monthly volume. Saying "I'll think about it and return on Thursday," (or whatever day is the first of the next month) can have them dropping the price fast. It's always good to practice your negotiation skills.

Enhance Your Business Communication Skills

2007-02-08T09:57:00.000+09:00

How good are your business communication skills? Effective communication is essential to your home based business success. How much money is your business losing? Get these tips now!

Great business communication skills requires learning to say exactly what you mean and saying it in a way to get a desired outcome that is beneficial for both the business contact and your home based business. Many times we send cross signals in our communications because we ourselves are not completely sure how to convey our thoughts properly. We know what we want to say but are unable to get the correct wording in order to get the your point across.

Enhancing our business communication skills has numerous advantages in all aspects of our home based business from negotiations to routine business conversations. Your bottom line will increase more by getting the desired outcome that you want. Whether it is better pricing from a manufacturer or handling a disgruntled customer you will notice that the results will be more favorable for your home based business.

Tips for Effective Communication:

What is the ultimate result you would like to achieve from the conversation, negotiation or advertising? What I have found to be very helpful is to get as many facts as possible. Information gathering is essential for creating your main objective as well as gaining better business communication skills. Once you have the main objective in mind, create a mental picture of it or write it down so that you can stay focused.

If you have a disgruntled customer, find out exactly what the problem is. Keep asking questions until you know for sure that you completely understand the situation. Then you can figure out what solutions would work best for the customer and for your home based business.

When you know what your objective is for all situations you will have a clear direction to follow in order to achieve your ultimate goal. The goal may be to create a satisfied customer expectations of repeat sales, negotiating a lower product price with a manufacturer, or creating an advertising campaign. As you can see effective business communication skills will increase your home based business bottom line.

Prepare for Objections

Whether it is customer service or negotiating with a manufacturer etc., you will need to expect objections. When you are prepared for them even if they never arise, it will open your mind to all the aspects of the situation and will give you a clearer perspective. When you can see all the sides of a situation, you will make wiser decisions and be able to point out the advantages for the other party.

What are the Benefits for All Parties?

Knowing what the benefits are for all parties concerned will help you explain them more effectively. In advertising you would list the benefits of your product or service in the advertisement. In customer service you would list the benefits of the solution to your customer, bearing in mind what would be the best outcome for both parties.

Emphasize the Benefits

Armed with a list of benefits, you will be able to explain the best benefits and advantages for the other party. With all the information on the table your business contact will be able to see the advantages of the subject matter and how they can benefit from your proposal. You will then be able to conclude the conversation easily since you have achieved your main objective with all parties satisfied.

Keep if Friendly

There will be times when no matter how good your business communication skills are, the other party just does not recognize the possibilities or want to work with you. That is fine, there will be customers who you cannot satisfy, negotiations that cannot be made and business contacts that will not be able to see your point of view.

If you keep it friendly you will increase the chances that they will listen to you in the future. This will leave the option of further contact open, whether it is a call, coming back to the negotiating table or for other business opportunities.

Be Prepared to Walk Away

Great business communication skills also entail knowing and realizing that situations will arise that the other party may not be receptive to any part of your main objective. In those rare instances it is better to end the conversation politely and move on. Sometimes the other party may be having a bad day or is distracted and what ever you say will fall on deaf ears. This happens to all of us. Realizing and recognizing that the other parties’ business communication skills are off that day will help you to end the conversation quickly and renew it on anther day when it is more appropriate.

Effective communication will help you in your home based business by creating an atmosphere of understanding and cooperation. Another aspect of business communication skills includes learning to listen better. In my article; “What did You Say?” I discuss ways to become a better listener. Tips for effective communication are a quick guideline which you can follow to stay on course in all your business dealings.

Each day there will be numerous opportunities to use effective communication skills. Your home based business depends on your business communication skills for growth, development and advancement in your chosen field.

Check Your Communication Skill

2007-02-07T13:22:00.000+09:00

How would you rate your communication skill? Use this handy check list to find out if you have the marks of a successful leader.

Use this check list to assess your communication skills.
Focus

Do you pay complete attention to others when they are speaking? (A wandering focus discourages open communication.)
Do you manage your thoughts during a conversation, focusing them on understanding what the other person is saying? (Effective listening requires more concentration than any other form of communication. If you’re thinking about anything other than what the person is saying, you’re defeating your ability to understand.)
Do you postpone preparing your reply until after you have heard everything the other person has to say? (Thinking about what you plan to say while the other person is speaking prevents you from understanding what that person is saying.)
Do you ignore distractions, such as other people, ambient noise, and the surroundings? (Attending to distractions makes you appear uninterested, unfocused, and rude.)
Do you make eye contact during a conversation? (Watching a person’s face shows that you’re paying attention. You also gather nonverbal messages, which can convey most of the important information being conveyed to you.)
Environment

Do you convey confidence, courage, and strength during your conversations? (A pleasant manner will encourage people to trust you and tell you more. Negative behavior conveys weakness, insecurity, and fear.)
Do you react calmly to bad news? (Anger frightens people into avoiding you.)
Do you encourage others to speak freely? (Appearing interested, asking questions, and treating others with respect encourages open communication.)
Do you use a diplomatic, positive vocabulary? (Talking about what you want is more forceful than talking about what you don’t want, won’t do, or can’t do. This means that you will avoid using the word "not.")
Do you seek solutions? (Seeking approval, culprits, or excuses, discourages communication.)
Clarity
Do you stick to the subject? (Introducing new unrelated issues confuses the other person and degrades the quality of your conversation.)
Do you maintain a "you" focus? (Speak in terms of what the other person needs, wants, and understands because that enhances the impact of what you say.)
Do you avoid games? (Asking trick questions, setting traps, and making others look bad will cause people to avoid you.)
Do you use a linear, logical approach to explaining things? (Make it easy for others to understand what you're saying because it’s more efficient.)
Do you use common terms? (Avoid jargon and flowery speech because these impress only the person using them.)
Effective leaders answer "yes" to all of these questions. And that is what makes them so successful.

Assertive communication

2007-02-06T08:34:00.000+09:00

What IS assertive communication?
Assertive communication is the ability to express positive andnegative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. Itrecognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights ofothers. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and ouractions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows usto constructively confront and find a mutually satisfyingsolution where conflict exists.

So why use assertive communication?

All of us use assertive behaviour at times... quite often when wefeel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort tosubmissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour.

Yet being trained in assertive communication actually increasesthe appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us toswap old behaviour patterns for a more positive approach to life.I've found that changing my response to others (be they workcolleagues, clients or even my own family) can be exciting andstimulating.

The advantages of assertive communication

There are many advantages of assertive communication, mostnotably these:

* It helps us feel good about ourselves and others* It leads to the development of mutual respect with others* It increases our self-esteem* It helps us achieve our goals* It minimises hurting and alienating other people* It reduces anxiety* It protects us from being taken advantage of by others* It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life* It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative

There are, of course, disadvantages...

Disadvantages of assertive communication

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may notapprove of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regardfor another person's rights means that you won't always get whatYOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about aviewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentionedearlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand andtherefore not accept this style of communication.

What assertive communication is not...

Assertive communication is definately NOT a lifestyle! It's NOT aguarantee that you will get what you want. It's definately NOT anacceptable style of communication with everyone, but at leastit's NOT being aggressive.

But it IS about choice

Four behavioural choices

There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about whichstyle of communication you can employ. These types are:

direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant,opinionated, and overbearing

indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous,insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing

submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, andapologetic

assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, andspontaneous

Characteristics of assertive communication

There are six main characteristics of assertive communication.These are:

1. eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity

2. body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message

3. gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis

4. voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating

5. timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact

6. content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say

The importance of "I" statements

Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriatelyexpress your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using"I" statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame,focuses on behaviour, identifies the effect of behaviour, isdirecdt and honest, and contributes to the growth of yourrelationship with each other.

Strong "I" statements have three specific elements:

1. Behaviour2. Feeling3. Tangible effect (consequence to you)

Example: "I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. Idon't like having to repeat information."

Six techniques for assertive communication

There are six assertive techniques - let's look at each of themin turn.

1. Behaviour Rehearsal: which is literally practising how youwant to look and sound. It is a very useful technique when youfirst want to use "I" statements, as it helps dissipate anyemotion associated with an experience and allows you toaccurately identify the behaviour you wish to confront.

2. Repeated Assertion (the 'broken record'): this techniqueallows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbalside traps, argumentative baiting and irrelevant logic whilesticking to your point. To most effectively use this techniqueuse calm repetition, and say what you want and stay focused onthe issue. You'll find that there is no need to rehearse thistechnique, and no need to 'hype yourself up' to deal with others.

Example:

"I would like to show you some of our products" "No thank you,I'm not interested" "I really have a great range to offer you""That may be true, but I'm not interested at the moment" "Isthere someone else here who would be interested?" "I don't wantany of these products" "Okay, would you take this brochure andthink about it?" "Yes, I will take a brochure" "Thank you""You're welcome"

3. Fogging: this technique allows you to receive criticismcomfortably, without getting anxious or defensive, and withoutrewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need toacknowledge the criticism, agree that there may be some truth towhat they say, but remain the judge of your choice of action. Anexample of this could be, "I agree that there are probably timeswhen I don't give you answers to your questions.

4. Negative enquiry: this technique seeks out criticism aboutyourself in close relationships by prompting the expression ofhonest, negative feelings to improve communication. To use ifeffectively you need to listen for critical comments, clarifyyour understanding of those criticisms, use the information if itwill be helpful or ignore the information if it is manipulative.An example of this technique would be, "So you think/believe thatI am not interested?"

5. Negative assertion: this technique lets you look morecomfortably at negatives in your own behaviour or personalitywithout feeling defensive or anxious, this also reduces yourcritics' hostility. You should accept your errors or faults, butnot apologise. Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agreewith hostile criticism of your negative qualities. An examplewould be, "Yes, you're right. I don't always listen closely towhat you have to say."

6. Workable compromise: when you feel that your self-respect isnot in question, consider a workable compromise with the otherperson. You can always bargain for your material goals unless thecompromise affects your personal feelings of self-respect.However, if the end goal involves a matter of your self-worth andself-respect, THERE CAN BE NO COMPROMISE. An example of thistechnique would be, "I understand that you have a need to talkand I need to finish what I'm doing. So what about meeting inhalf an hour?"

Real Estate Negotiation - Time Power

2007-02-05T09:27:00.000+09:00

Time is one of the basic elements of real estate negotiation. Do you know this secret of using it well?

One of the crucial elements of real estate negotiation is time. Understand and master the use of time, and you can buy a home for thousands less. Here is one of the most important aspects of time:

Deadlines In Real Estate Negotiation

Time is of the essence. It even says as much on most real estate contracts. What does this mean? It means that whoever controls or understands the elements of time has the better negotiating position.

When I bought my first piece of property, I asked the seller why he was selling. He said he was moving. I asked him when he was moving, and he said in a couple weeks. He also mentioned that he wanted to close the sale before he moved. I offered him 20% less than he was asking, and he accepted.

He gave away too much information. Specifically, he gave away his deadline. One of the most important things to understand in real estate negotiation is deadlines. The two specific things to remember are: 1. Don't give away your deadline(s), and 2. Find the other side's deadline(s).

Find out whatever you can about any relevant deadlines. Sometimes there isn't a clear deadline, or there are several deadlines for different parts of the negotiation. Whatever the case, the more information you can gather about those deadlines, the better.

How do you use that information once you have it? The crudest method is to simply delay and wait until the last moment to negotiate. This only works if the other side doesn't walk away, and if your own deadline permits it. It also requires that you don't violate any of the terms of your purchase offer, so the seller can't sell to someone else.

A bit of sophistication is required to use this information effectively. You may want to start by identifying what is most important to you in the negotiation. For example, is the price or the terms the crucial element for you?

Let's assume that price is most important to you. When you wrote the offer, you put some price on it, but you have inspections and other contingencies that allow for everything to be renegotiated. The process of inspections and negotiations ties up the property, so your competition is excluded for the moment. Then you learn that owner really wants to sell by the start of the school year, because he will be moving with his children.

Work on everything else in the negotiations except the price. Have inspections done, agree on what will be included with the property, etc. As the seller's "deadline" approaches, he will be getting anxious to close the deal. Then you let him know you're ready to close quickly. Of course, you'll need the price adjusted due to the results of the inspections.

At this point the seller has the choice of throwing away the whole deal. This means starting over, and not moving when he wanted to. Alternately, he can be happy that he got what he wants most - a quick close. This means giving you your price.

This points up the importance of getting information on the other's deadline, but also the importance of not revealing your own. When I was a real estate agent I heard the story of a man who sold his property for a large profit. He had to pay $80,000 in capital gains taxes unless he rolled the money into another property, as a "title 31 exchange." He had 60 days to close on the new property.

Imagine the abuse he would open himself to if, with ten days to go, the seller learned of his deadline and the cost of missing it. He could threaten to delay closing unless the buyer paid $10,000 extra for some old coin-operated washing machines, for example. Overpay by a few thousand, or lose $80,000. What do you think he would do? You can see the power of time in real estate negotiation.

D-List Part 1

2007-02-03T14:49:00.000+09:00

These blogs have the ‘no follow’ link disabled from the comments, which means that if you comment on these sites, you will get an actual link. If you would like to be included here, please let me know.

If you find this list useful, please consider linking to it.

This DoFollow Blog list is courtesy of Courtney Tuttle and was created originally by Coleen as the D-List.

RealityWired.com
BrilliantCheers
Achille
OnTheWebEd
JonLee
ChrisHoyt
JulieAnnBonner
LinkItForMe
RamblingThoughtsBlog
BlogThatOutside
Tobsy
NOWG
CatchAFallingStar
SweetAgring
LayerCake
ErikSvend
PajamaProfessional
Hem
MyOpinionsAreImportant
HeckOfIt
RoadLessTravelled
The Fit Shack
Foximus
BetShopBoy
5xMom
Derek
Semmler
Linguistics Zone
Zr5
SmartWealthyRich
How To Split An Atom
The Alternative
Self-Employment Blog
A Politically Incorrect Entrepreneur
CrayonWriter
BlogRaters
TagsKitchen
TradeMacro
Bracing Your Brand
Mother’s Home
Brian Pratt
Best Real Income
1000MileJourney
3DayMom
A Writers Words, An Editors Eye
Aaron Roselo
Advertising for Success
And to Think

To be continued

Negotiations Within Negotiation

2007-02-02T08:33:00.000+09:00

If only two persons attend a mediation and they are both have authority to settle, then only three negotiations take place. They are between (1) person 1 and person 2, (2) person 1 and mediator, (3) person 2 and mediator. The dynamics of this are easy to manage.

More commonly, at least four persons attend, namely two parties and two attorneys, in which case ten dynamic interactions may take place, as follows: (1) party 1 and party 2, (2) party 1 and lawyer 1, (3) party 1 and mediator, (4) party 1 and lawyer 2, (5) party 2 and lawyer 2, (6) party 2 and mediator, (7) party 2 and lawyer 1, (8) lawyer 1 and mediator, (9) lawyer 2 and mediator, (10) lawyer 1 and lawyer 2.

It is easy to draw a cat’s cradle to demonstrate the complex dynamics that exist in the above simple mediation, with only two parties each represented by an attorney.

If this was a dinner party with five friends, the conversation would be a free for all with everyone having a wonderful time. But a mediator cannot afford to have a free for all in a mediation session. A mediation is a negotiation, and every negotiation is (however politely or amicably conducted) an adversarial process. It is war waged with kisses. Further, most mediations take place within a larger context of adversarial relationships, or adversarial process such as potential or pending litigation.

If there are multiple participants, i.e. more than two parties and two attorneys in a mediation, the cat’s cradle becomes exponentially more complex, in fact, exceedingly complex. Such negotiations can easily get out of hand. It becomes all the more important for the mediator to set herself or himself as the focal point of all communications, and to control cross-table communications quite carefully, with as much finesse as possible.

No one attends a mediation without an agenda. Every person’s agenda is different.

The mediator must control the flow of communication, or the negotiation will founder. That is why he was hired. With whatever subtlety or bluntness this is accomplished, it is essential. The mediator must be willing to shut off a destructive communication. He/she must also be willing to draw necessary communication out of participants who are keeping silent, even if this requires a private session.

The easiest way to control the dynamics of the situation, without attempting to stifle them, is to have the participants communicate with each other through the mediator. The slight deflection that this requires has an ameliorating effect on the language and the attitude of the speaker. As this is exactly what happens in court, attorneys are used to it.

There are only two kinds of communication in mediation. The first is any communication that keeps the negotiation moving towards clarity and settlement. The second is any communication that tends to torpedo, stifle or impede clarity and settlement. When “bad” communications occur, as they always do, the mediator must repair the damage and move on.

There are only two venues for a communication. The first is in joint session. The second is in private session.

Joint sessions are for participants to communicate positively such facts, attitudes, interpretations, arguments, and offers as will tend to move the parties closer to the goal of settlement.

Individual sessions have two purposes. The first is to permit participants to “vent.” Venting means to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other side. The setting in which such venting takes place must be controlled by the mediator in such a way as to advance, not impede, the purpose of settlement, and this means in private session. The purpose of venting is to get it said and done with. Some people take longer to vent than others. Some people never stop venting on their own volition, in which instance the mediator must make a calculated judgment when to call a halt to it. The second purpose of private session is to discuss what the participants will say in joint session, or what they want the mediator to convey to the other side.

Sometimes a participant wants to express his or her thoughts, emotions, feelings or attitudes directly to the other side. This is the side of mediation that is closest to therapy. The only reason to permit this is if it will advance the settlement process. How this is done is very important. There is a world of difference between on the one hand, explaining how one feels, and on the other hand, engaging in an ad hominem attack on another participant. This can be quite subtle. However much a person is coached, sometimes they just cannot resist turning an account of how they feel into a personal attack. There is a simple rule concerning ad hominem attacks: don’t do it, because it never helps.

These issues do not always arise. Often, the volume and extent of these potentially explosive interactions is reduced or minimized by the parties themselves or their lawyers. Some lawyers prefer keep their clients out of the negotiations, keeping them on hand to ratify settlement proposals. Some parties do not want to take an active part in the proceeding, feeling that is what they retained an attorney to do for them. Also, attorneys often do not want their clients interacting directly with the other side’s attorney. Some clients become terribly frustrated with the other side’s attorney, seeing him or her as the supreme obstacle – sometimes such a client takes the opportunity to call the other side’s attorney a liar; the mediator should put an immediate stop to such “fighting words.”

Effective Communicator

2007-02-01T08:46:00.000+09:00

Humans are not the only species to have some form of communication. Yet we do have the most complex forms of communication extant. Hundreds of differing spoken languages and dialects, several visual languages, and several different alphabets, not to mention the various codes based on tones, beats etc, exist all of which are there for the purpose of communicating with other people. Human beings are social creatures - communication amongst ourselves is part and parcel of everyday life. Yet many people have "poor communication skills". Why is this so, when we seem to have developed an extraordinarily complex system able to convey a multitude of different purposes?

The Purpose of each Communication - Differences in Style

All communication has a purpose, be that talking to clients over the phone, chatting with friends or presenting a report. What are the purposes here? In all cases there are a variety at work: maintaining or building relationships, answering specific questions, giving an expert opinion, reframing events in light of previous experience to make them seem more normal, exchanging news to satisfy curiosity, teaching others by grouping seemingly separate pieces of information into a cohesive whole, the list could go on for a very long time from just three different situations in which communication is the main part. The important thing to realise here is the differing variables of communication depending on the situation. The main variables are: amount and mode of information received (voice, body language etc), role being played, number of people being communicated with at once (and thus the amount of differing sets of information being received), vocabulary set being used.

This all seems very complicated: so how are we meant to learn this so subtle skill of communicating effectively? In actuality there are a few separate skills, all of which can improve your communication abilities and that are relevant to all situations you can possibly face. It is not some strange and unintelligible science that is out of reach of most people, but rather it is accepting that to be an effective communicator you must change your communicating style to match that of the person you are communicating with: it is no use expecting them to change for you.

Communication Part 1: Listening/Observing

Communication can be separated into two parts: the first part is being able to listen and observe. People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (wpm), but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 wpm. Since only a part of the mind is paying attention, it is easy to let the mind drift. The cure for this is active and effective listening - which involves listening with a purpose such as to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, show support, etc. By defining your purpose in listening you can moderate your responses to accomplish your purpose.

Active & Effective Listening

So how do you listen actively? First of all, you must be able to yank your mind back from wherever it might drift during a conversation: being able to concentrate exclusively on someone else can be quite difficult for any length of time. With practice you can listen to others without having random thoughts intrude - many people find that meditation helps with this skill as it trains the mind in exactly this fashion. The second way people are distracted during a conversation is by thinking up the reply while the other person is still speaking - a really easy way to miss the point of what another person is saying! Thirdly, you can focus on many different things to make this more interesting so as to prevent your mind from wandering. Concentrating on body language can do this: see how your correspondent is sitting/standing - is it closed or open (closed is turned away or blocked by another part of the body, such as crossing the arms, open is facing you and arms and legs not blocking the body). Are they looking at you or are they avoiding eye contact? If it is the latter, they may not be interested in the conversation, they may be lying, and they may be uncomfortable. Are they acting nervously by tapping, twitching or fiddling with something? Are they appearing happy/sad/emotionless? Are their facial behaviours matching or contradicting their bodily behaviours (e.g. nervous tapping of the foot yet open body language and happy appearance)?

Build Rapport through Mirroring

Building rapport is vital in ensuring effective communication and while you are listening you are able to do this by mirroring or matching what your correspondent is doing. For example you cross your legs in the same way as them, and put your arms in a similar way, this puts you on the same wavelength as your correspondent and will make them be more receptive to what you have to say when you do get around to saying it. Mirroring can also be done through the use of the specific NLP type vocabulary. Notice any clues for NLP type, for later use in responding. An abbreviated explanation of NLP types: the visual type uses the words "I see what you mean" and similar, while the auditory type uses the words "I hear what you’re saying", and the kinaesthetic will use the words "I feel I understand this". If you note down what kind of vocabulary is being used, and then use this with them you are more likely to be understood, as well as being more able to be in rapport with them. Try noting down what types your colleagues or your family are: then try deliberately using the wrong type of vocabulary in what you are saying and seeing (visual vocab) what the difference can be to when you use the correct type for the person you are talking to, it flows (kinaesthetic vocab) very differently and you can hear (auditory vocab) the discord.

Communication Part 2: Responding

The first thing to learn in this part is that you will find communication much easier if you are speaking in the same way (tone, tempo and rhythm) as your correspondent: if you usually speak fast, find someone who speaks slowly (or vice versa) and match their tempo when you are talking with them, and then measure how successful that conversation was in comparison to a conversation with them which was entirely on your natural tempo. Be sure you are matching all three (tone, tempo and rhythm) though as most people who say that this doesn’t work are not matching all three correctly! Usually this sort of thing is natural: if you’ve ever been to the US, you may have noticed that you started ending sentences on an upward inflection automatically: not a typically British way of speaking. You just picked it up from others and naturally matched it. But if you are to be a highly successful communicator you need to be aware of what actually works rather than just stabbing in the dark and going with what comes out of your mouth without you thinking about it.

Use Positive Directions

The second thing that is most important to learn about responding to others is to use positive sentences - I don’t mean being nice to people, although that is all to the good, but by expressing your purpose in a specific way: "do this" rather than "do not do this". The brain works extra hard to create the representation of the thing not to be done and superimposes some kind of negative - and in all the brain processing that happens afterwards the negative frequently gets lost so leaving an extra strong impression of the thing not to be done - without its negative. For example: if I were to say, "Do NOT think of a bright red cat", what are you thinking of? Most of you will honestly admit to having had some kind of representation of a red cat flash across the mind, furthermore this representation of a red cat will be something you remember more readily than something I say in the positive sense. Also, there is the whole contrary nature of the mind to contend with: there is always the fascination and compulsion with what we are told not to do, why else does negative psychology work so well with teenagers?

Take a Meta-View

The last important thing to learn about communication skills is the goal of the communication: you must keep this in mind when entering into any communication for you to be able to measure it’s success and thus moderate your future attempts to achieve your goals through communication. If your goal is to cheer up a friend, you will be able to tell if you have been successful by comparing the tone of the friend at the beginning and at the end of the conversation. Or if your goal is to build a relationship more solidly, then you can compare your correspondent’s mood before and after each communication: and the attitude with which they receive you. If they are happy to see you all the better, but you can tell something is wrong if they are consistently displeased to see you. For positive proof you need several communications to base your conclusion on: there are other factors at work as well, such as your correspondent’s internal mood state - which frequently has very little to do with you - take a "meta-view" stance and see what the overall picture is before coming to any conclusions about your communication skills.

Negotiation Skills You Need To Know

2007-01-31T08:28:00.000+09:00

Enhance Your Business Communication Skills

2007-01-30T09:55:00.000+09:00

How good are your business communication skills? Effective communication is essential to your home based business success. How much money is your business losing? Get these tips now! Great business communication skills requires learning to say exactly what you mean and saying it in a way to get a desired outcome that is beneficial for both the business contact and your home based business. Many times we send cross signals in our communications because we ourselves are not completely sure how to convey our thoughts properly. We know what we want to say but are unable to get the correct wording in order to get the your point across.

Enhancing our business communication skills has numerous advantages in all aspects of our home based business from negotiations to routine business conversations. Your bottom line will increase more by getting the desired outcome that you want. Whether it is better pricing from a manufacturer or handling a disgruntled customer you will notice that the results will be more favorable for your home based business.

Tips for Effective Communication:

Have a Main Objective
Be Prepared for Objections
Consider the Benefits for All Parties
Emphasize the other Party’s Benefits
Keep if Friendly
Be Prepared to Walk Away

Know Your Main Objective

What is the ultimate result you would like to achieve from the conversation, negotiation or advertising? What I have found to be very helpful is to get as many facts as possible. Information gathering is essential for creating your main objective as well as gaining better business communication skills. Once you have the main objective in mind, create a mental picture of it or write it down so that you can stay focused.

If you have a disgruntled customer, find out exactly what the problem is. Keep asking questions until you know for sure that you completely understand the situation. Then you can figure out what solutions would work best for the customer and for your home based business.

When you know what your objective is for all situations you will have a clear direction to follow in order to achieve your ultimate goal. The goal may be to create a satisfied customer expectations of repeat sales, negotiating a lower product price with a manufacturer, or creating an advertising campaign. As you can see effective business communication skills will increase your home based business bottom line.

Prepare for Objections

Whether it is customer service or negotiating with a manufacturer etc., you will need to expect objections. When you are prepared for them even if they never arise, it will open your mind to all the aspects of the situation and will give you a clearer perspective. When you can see all the sides of a situation, you will make wiser decisions and be able to point out the advantages for the other party.

What are the Benefits for All Parties?
Knowing what the benefits are for all parties concerned will help you explain them more effectively. In advertising you would list the benefits of your product or service in the advertisement. In customer service you would list the benefits of the solution to your customer, bearing in mind what would be the best outcome for both parties.

Emphasize the Benefits

Armed with a list of benefits, you will be able to explain the best benefits and advantages for the other party. With all the information on the table your business contact will be able to see the advantages of the subject matter and how they can benefit from your proposal. You will then be able to conclude the conversation easily since you have achieved your main objective with all parties satisfied.

Keep if Friendly

There will be times when no matter how good your business communication skills are, the other party just does not recognize the possibilities or want to work with you. That is fine, there will be customers who you cannot satisfy, negotiations that cannot be made and business contacts that will not be able to see your point of view.

If you keep it friendly you will increase the chances that they will listen to you in the future. This will leave the option of further contact open, whether it is a call, coming back to the negotiating table or for other business opportunities.

Be Prepared to Walk Away

Great business communication skills also entail knowing and realizing that situations will arise that the other party may not be receptive to any part of your main objective. In those rare instances it is better to end the conversation politely and move on. Sometimes the other party may be having a bad day or is distracted and what ever you say will fall on deaf ears. This happens to all of us. Realizing and recognizing that the other parties’ business communication skills are off that day will help you to end the conversation quickly and renew it on anther day when it is more appropriate.

Effective communication will help you in your home based business by creating an atmosphere of understanding and cooperation. Another aspect of business communication skills includes learning to listen better. In my article; “What did You Say?” I discuss ways to become a better listener. Tips for effective communication are a quick guideline which you can follow to stay on course in all your business dealings.

Each day there will be numerous opportunities to use effective communication skills. Your home based business depends on your business communication skills for growth, development and advancement in your chosen field.

Mapping the Way... to Negotiation

2007-01-29T15:10:00.000+09:00

Whether you're a lone contractor or manage a medium-sized business, you're bound to encounter the complex world of negotiating in your business transactions. It takes skill and know-how to ensure a positive outcome.

Negotiating is all about reaching consensus between two parties, and it assumes that both sides have power and can move towards agreement, says communications and management consultant and coach, Jenny Strachan.

One of the most important requirements for an equal negotiation process is a strong mental attitude. "If you've been invited to negotiate, then you have a right to be involved, to be heard, to state your opinion clearly," Strachan says. "Don't go into victim mentality. It's better not to enter the negotiation process at all if you think you just have to accept whatever the other party wants. You end up trading off too much. Too many concessions can devalue who you are and erode the value of your own name (or that of your organisation) in the marketplace."

For example, you sell your services at a certain price. You desperately want a particular contract so you drop your price. Immediately you are devaluing yourself in the market and it will be very hard to bring your price back up again.

Meeting Place

The location for the negotiation process is important. Arrange to meet in neutral territory such as a hotel foyer or coffee shop. If you are called in to the other party's office space, this becomes a power-base for them, and gives them the opportunity to employ a range of tactics to assert their power.

These may include:

Keeping you waiting so as to force a decision
Deliberate interruptions at critical points
Stacking the boardroom with a team of people

"Instead of allowing them to make you feel unimportant, make it clear that you have a strong sense of who you are, that you are an equal party in these negotiations," she says. "Hold your ground and turn the situation around to an equal power-base. That is, if you have been kept waiting unnecessarily, state that you don't appreciate being kept waiting and request the meeting be rescheduled in a new location (neutral ground)."

If you find yourself facing a sea of suits when you expected a one-on-one meeting, assert yourself, saying something like: "This is obviously a briefing. I'm happy to take part. I'll take the information from today away with me and this might help with my negotiations later on."

That is, reschedule on your own terms. You should walk away from a meeting if you feel you are being compromised. Remember, you have rights. Don't just allow the other side to have all the power.

A lot of people will manipulate time, Strachan warns. "Try not to enter negotiations under a sense of urgency. If you have a deadline, you may make more concessions than you should to bring about an outcome."

One stalling tactic is to defer to authority. The other party might say: "I don't have the level of authority to sign off on that amount of money. I'll have to consult my boss/the board." They may use this strategy to force you to drop your price to their 'level of authority'. "It's important to be steadfast under fire," says Strachan. "You have to be able to sit back and listen. Be quietly confident. Don't appear too keen to put all your cards on the table."

This allows the other party to 'show their hand', stalling the negotiation so that you can be clear about what they want.

Be Prepared

Before going to any meeting, you should be thoroughly prepared. What is of true value to you? What are your non-negotiables? These could include the rate at which you are willing to work, the hours you will work, and access to technology. If you need access to their computers, and you can't afford to purchase your own equivalent system, then there is no point taking the discussion further if the other side can't provide this.

What is your power-base? Do you represent a company that is strong in the market? Or, is the other side's reputation and influence something you can benefit from? Negotiating is about building relationships. If you care about having a long-term relationship with the other business, you may be prepared to concede more.

Alternative Plan

Always have a BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement), Strachan says. "This is your position of strength, your dealing card. It means you aren't locked into an untenable position but can walk away from the process if you have other options to explore." An example might be if you've tendered for lots of different contracts and there's a possibility one of these might be accepted. You can use these other contracts as your BATNA. Although you might not definitely have these contracts yet, you can appear confident with your negotiators, saying that you won't drop your rate when there are others in the marketplace who will pay the specified amount.

Strachan tells her clients to compare any negotiation process with that of purchasing a house. You never just accept the price the agent tells you. You are prepared to negotiate. And your BATNA in that situation is that there's another house down the road that also meets your needs so you don't have to buy the first one.

Think the negotiation process through from the other party's point of view. Consider what they want and think about how you can meet those needs without giving up what you want. What is their position in the marketplace? What do they want from you? What are you willing to trade and why? What sort of value can you add? For example, providing telephone follow-up after your service is of no great cost to you, but might be something you can trade on because it is of value to the other side.

The Other Side

Know your competitors and their prices. The other side's BATNA might be that they say they can get someone else to perform the job at a lower rate. If you know that isn't so, then you can call their bluff knowing that they'll probably back down.

State quite clearly: "I'm not taking myself out of the market when you're not paying me market value." Demonstrate to them that this is the market rate by stating that if you are unable to fulfil other contracts so as to do their work, then you'll have to employ someone at that same rate. You are just keeping your business afloat.

Negotiating takes a lot of interpersonal skill to be truly effective. Listen well and ask lots of questions. If you don't feel comfortable with your level of skill as a negotiator, Strachan recommends taking some training.

Guidelines for Negotiation

Keep the people and the problem separate
Don't negotiate about your positions of power
Focus on the interests, not the positions
Create options for mutual gain
Remain objective

Prepare For Negotiation

Establish goals
Research the facts
Clarify the issues
Identify the real needs
Predict needs of other parties
Establish the common ground
Prepare your case
Prepare and anticipate the case of the other parties
Identify the needs and interests of the other parties
Closing the Negotiation
Check the viability of possible agreement
Confirm areas of agreement
Make a record
Decide on following action

Ecological Negotiation

2007-01-29T10:51:00.000+09:00

Negotiation is a process of trying to arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion about something. It could be a sales situation; it could be a behavioral contract; it could be a cease fire. Negotiation is basically an agreement. What makes negotiation’s time consuming is that each party involved often has numerous needs that require some kind of guarantee of satisfaction. Until those needs are at least addressed in some way, there will be objections.

Objections are critically important in successful negotiations and taking into account all objections is ecological. That is, it takes into account varying components of the system. Negotiations often prove a failure after the fact because one or more of the parties does not express their objections to the proposed settlement. Then, after the negotiation is over, they start to feel shortchanged and don’t abide by the agreement.

In every successful negotiation it is critically important that objections be addressed. Some people involved in the negotiation may be shy or reserved about voicing objections. The facilitator or leader must draw out objections from participants so they can be discussed. Once out in the open, objections can be analyised and the need or concern they represent satisfied. For example, let’s say a couple is in marital counseling negotiating a behavioral contract. The husband wants the wife to contribute her paycheck into the joint checking account but she wants to open her own checking account. She objects to putting her money into the joint checking account. A good question to ask to understand the reason for the objection is “what would happen if you did put your money in the joint checking account?” This requires the wife to verbalize her concerns. She might say “I wouldn’t feel as though I had some of my own money to spend in my own way whenever I wanted to for whatever reason.” The negotiator might then say “If you knew you could spend your money any way you wanted whenever you wanted for whatever you wanted even with the money in a joint checking account, would you then be ok with the joint checking account?” The wife might ponder this and if she says yes the condition upon which the negotiation would be successful is clarified. But, if she says no that indicates there is yet another objection which has not yet been verbalized. At that point, the negotiator needs to uncover a deeper layer of objection. This is accomplished largely through asking specific questions.

This process of uncovering layers of objection is the ecological part of negotiation. It ensures that all parties involved or all parts of a single person’s mind have addressed every single objection. Ecological negotiation is one of the most effective means of behavior change because although we may say we want to change behaviors, for example, to quit smoking, we find it difficult or fail because there is also a part of us that does not want to change. A person who says they want to lose weight might be surprised to find there is a part of them that objects to that goal. Ecological negotiation attempts to find the reason behind not wanting to lose weight and try and satisfy that need in some other way. For example, being overweight can serve a need. In some it might be power, in others it might be protection. Without discovering the need that being overweight serves and finding other ways to meet that need, there will be an objection to losing weight.

Everyone has needs and most all behavior is designed to meet those needs. Ecological negotiation takes this into account and recognizes that all objections are a way of saying “hey, if that happens my needs won’t be met so I’m going to object.” By accepting the objection in that light and helping that need be met in other ways, the negotiator removes obstacles to a truly successful negotiation.

Structure A Negotiation

2007-01-25T08:57:00.000+09:00

People who are successful negotiators, always have a well thought out strategy before entering into the negotiation, are well prepared, self confident and structure the negotiation, so that they remain in control of the negotiating process.

The recommended structure for negotiations is:

• Establish the issues being negotiated

• Gather information

• Build a solution

Stage 1. Establish The Issues

Begin by agreeing an agenda for the negotiation i.e.

• What needs to be discussed and agreed?

• Who will be involved and what will be their role?

• What timescales are we working towards?

• What are the major issues that need to be agreed?

Many negotiators make the mistake of negotiating too quickly whereas skilled negotiators spend 20% more of their time asking questions and looking for alternatives.

Do be aware that professional buyers will want to gain your commitment on issues, such as: price, early on in the negotiation but you should never commit yourself to anything until you have established everything that is being negotiated.

Seasoned negotiators will often bring up an issue at the end of the negotiation, when you are vulnerable and likely to agree to a one sided (Lose-Win) concession, in order to conclude the deal. You can legislate for this ploy by asking the other side for their . “shopping list” before beginning the negotiation and refuse to accept any last minute additions to the list.

Issues will include things like price, delivery schedule, payment terms, packaging, quality of product, length of contract etc. At this stage issues are kept general and no concessions are made or agreements reached

Stage 2. Gather Information

This is a vital part of the negotiation and you need to remember that there are four kinds of information

• Information you have that you are willing to give to the other side

• Information you have that you are unwilling to give to the other side

• Information the other side has that they are willing to give you

• Information the other side has that they are unwilling to give you

You need to decide, before the negotiation, how much you are willing to share information and what your own information requirements are. This will set the climate for the negotiation and will determine the amount of trust that exists between both parties. Skilled negotiators are able to ask a range of open, closed and follow up questions and are able to listen effectively. They also wait until they have all their information requirements, before making concessions

Stage 3. Build A Solution

Having gathered information the next stage is to begin to put together a solution. Usually this will take the form of the selling side putting forward a proposal, or opening bid. The opening bid should be ambitious, but defensible. You should always challenge an opening bid and refuse to let an unacceptable bid stay on the table

Typically, there will then be a process of bargaining, concessions will be traded and movement take place, until, hopefully, agreement is reached. Concessions should not be given away for free and you should be wary about conceding on issues for which you are not prepared.

A final tip: The very best negotiators always enter into negotiation with a “three position plan”

That is: Best Price, Realistic Price and Fallback Price – they never, ever accept less than their “Fallback Price”

Intrapersonal Communication

2007-01-24T10:48:00.000+09:00

Real Estate Negotiation Tips

2007-01-23T08:52:00.000+09:00

When buying a real estate investment:

1. Check if the seller is motivated to sell the property

In real estate investing, dealing with someone who does not really want to sell their property is a waste of time – you should forget about them and move on, no matter how promising the deal might look like. How to check the seller's motivation level? It's relatively simple: try to make an appointment. If he or she puts it off (especially if it happens a few times in a row), there is a 90% chance that the seller is not motivated to sell.

2. Inspect a property before making your first offer

Never, ever make an offer before a close inspection of a property. This will put you on the back foot throughout whole negotiation process! Also, don't let the seller force you into making your offer RIGHT AFTER the inspection. You will need at least a few hours to prepare your final offer. It's best to inspect the property and then make an appointment for the following day. Do not make any offers before that time!

3. Prepare more than a single offer

Do not enter negotiations with only a single offer. Even if you don't have any aces in your sleeve, make sure that you can make at least three offers – and that your final one is still profitable enough to enter the deal!

4. Talk to the seller while leaving

If you and the seller can't reach an agreement, try this simple trick: make your final offer standing at the door. First off, this way you give a clear sign that the seller can't hope for a better deal. Then, this puts the seller on notice that you are about to walk away from the deal – he or she may not like your offer, but there is no guarantee that the next real estate investor will give the seller better terms. This can often make the seller more receptive and accept your proposition.

Selling your investment property:

1. Be sure that you really want to sell the property

Before you tell anyone that your property is on sale, think if it is really the case. If you deeply hate the idea of selling the property, it is generally a good idea to try to keep it. Every real estate deal has plusses and minuses. If you sell, you get instant cash profits, but sacrifice long term capital growth. If you decide to hold, the opposite applies.

2. Be reasonable

When it comes to negotiations, don't be ridiculous – you can demand high prices, but make sure that they are reasonable (certainly not twice the average). You will only be left with an overpriced property that will be difficult to sell. Moreover, making such high offers may cause some real estate investors to back out from the negotiations. You usually can hope for more than the buyer's first offer though, so it is always worth to haggle a little.

3. Read through all the clauses and contingencies before signing anything

There's an old saying: "The devil's in the details." Nowhere is it truer than in real estate deals. Before you sign anything, read the contract (especially the small print). Such things as being held responsible for making all necessary repairs requested by the buyer or agreeing for waiting six or seven months for the money may spoil even the best-looking deal.

4. "There's always another buyer around the corner"

If the purchaser does not seem to be able to meet your price expectations or offers you terms you cannot really accept, don't waste your time. There is always another purchaser around the corner – and even if there won't be anyone else, you can always call the buyer later, can't you?

Negotiatioin with Questioning

2007-01-22T08:49:00.000+09:00

Effective questioning is a powerful and often underused skill in negotiation. Asking questions has many benefits.

1. It gives you a better chance of answering the brief effectively.

2. It shows the client you care about their business.

3. The information you acquire and the way in which you interpret the information can really help you establish how interested the client is in buying from you.

4.It helps to establish rapport.

It is also a natural progression to listening. If you have truly listened and not re-loaded there may be a silence for a while. Initially this may seem like an eternity but you will get used to that and will become quicker to respond.

With all the information on board you can now make good sound judgements based on what was said and not said.

There are two types of questions that are regularly used in negotiation – open and closed. When you are in fact-finding stage you use many more open questions. They are ones that require a lengthy answer and are difficult for your client to just to say yes or no.

Open questions are inquisitive, showing interest in them and what they want. They use opening words such as what, who, why, how, where and when. Closed questions tend to open with was, were, are, could, did and is. It is amazing how one or a few words can change a question from open to closed.

For example:

Closed - Can I help?

Open - How can I help?

Also never assume that you know something. For example you may assume that they are not happy with price because they have not really wanted to commit to anything. Unless you ask questions you cannot know. You may want to ask a specific closed question to pin them down.

i.e. Is there anything I can do to help you decide to use us?

So much is down to interpretation and as we all channel information in and out in different ways you need to clarify things.

Remember the adage - never assume it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Marc Lockley has spent 20 years in UK National Press media sales most of which at senior levels. Now he has developed a coaching practice that centres around two main areas: negotiation and leadership.

He offers negotiation coaching both in business and your home life. Think of how much you could save and make negotiating the sale and purchase of your own house for example?

He offers coaching that truly develops your style, talents and skills. It is tailored to your requirements to help you get the best out of deals.

Key to Communication

2007-01-19T09:18:00.000+09:00

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, “If I just don’t say anything, I can get past it”?

The problem is most of us can’t get past it. It simmers and swells until we near our boiling point. Finally, we explode. The problem has magnified itself beyond rational conversation. From this miscommunication comes a personal, relational and emotional mess.

I have developed, tested and proven 5 very critical keys to effective and powerful communication. First, you and your partner must give each other permission to discuss your feelings and issues that arise between yourselves. This is very difficult for most people. Why? It requires respect for yourself and your partner. You must have a non-defensive and non-judgmental environment, free from hidden agendas and defenses. Forming this connection will help you to see the others perspective and create a constructive environment.

After we have created this new and trusting environment, the next four keys will challenge and guide you to process information using a new method of constructive communication. Create a new standard and process for yourself (LTRR). What is LTRR?

LTRR, the code to creating and shifting perspective:

Listen- We hear but we are not listening. When we disagree with someone or something, we tend to begin to formulate our reactive response long before the speaking has ended. Take time to listen to all of the information or view.

Think- Process the information you received; all of it. Try to appreciate their perspective. What are the strengths and weaknesses of this perspective? Is it morally acceptable to me? How does this fit or clash with my perspective.

Reframe- Ask yourself questions to help you get clear on a new or different perspective. A question such as; what is your perspective on this that is giving you trouble? What perspective could I take from this that would lead to a more empowered position?

Respond- Finally it’s time to respond. Notice that it doesn’t say react. Respond implies thought and reasoning. Organize your thoughts and your perspective. Share it with others.

Try it. It will be difficult at first and you’ll be dying to react, but don’t. Personally, I utilize a 7 second rule. I don’t respond to new ideas and perspectives until 7 seconds after the person has finished speaking. At first, I had to consciously remind myself; listen, think, reframe, and respond. Now, it just happens. It will just happen for you too.

Communication is a learned skill that requires continuous development and practice. The more we apply these tools, the better we become at utilizing these skills. Just simply giving each other permission to have hurt feelings, ask for specific outcomes and communicate our needs can produce amazing results.

Cross Cultural Negotiations

2007-01-18T09:43:00.000+09:00

Cross cultural negotiation is one of many specialized areas within the wider field of cross cultural communications. By taking cross cultural negotiation training, negotiators and sales personnel give themselves an advantage over competitors.

There is an argument that proposes that culture is inconsequential to cross cultural negotiation. It maintains that as long as a proposal is financially attractive it will succeed. However, this is a naïve way of approaching international business.

Let us look at a brief example of how cross cultural negotiation training can benefit the international business person:

There are two negotiators dealing with the same potential client in the Middle East. Both have identical proposals and packages. One ignores the importance of cross cultural negotiation training believing the proposal will speak for itself. The other undertakes some cross cultural training. He/she learns about the culture, values, beliefs, etiquette and approaches to business, meetings and negotiations. Nine times out of ten the latter will succeed over the rival.

This is because 1) it is likely they would have endeared themselves more to the host negotiation team and 2) they would be able to tailor their approach to the negotiations in a way that maximises the potential of a positive outcome.

Cross cultural negotiations is about more than just how foreigners close deals. It involves looking at all factors that can influence the proceedings. By way of highlighting this, a few brief examples of topics covered in cross cultural negotiation training shall be offered.

Eye Contact : In the US, UK and much of northern Europe, strong, direct eye contact conveys confidence and sincerity. In South America it is a sign of trustworthiness. However, in some cultures such as the Japanese, prolonged eye contact is considered rude and is generally avoided.

Personal Space & Touch: In Europe and North America, business people will usually leave a certain amount of distance between themselves when interacting. Touching only takes place between friends. In South America or the Middle East, business people are tactile and like to get up close. In Japan or China, it is not uncommon for people to leave a gap of four feet when conversing. Touching only takes place between close friends and family members.

Time: Western societies are very ‘clock conscious’. Time is money and punctuality is crucial. This is also the case in countries such as Japan or China where being late would be taken as an insult. However, in South America, southern Europe and the Middle East, being on time for a meeting does not carry the same sense of urgency.

Meeting & Greeting: most international business people meet with a handshake. In some countries this is not appropriate between genders. Some may view a weak handshake as sign of weakness whereas others would perceive a firm handshake as aggressive. How should people be addressed? Is it by first name, surname or title? Is small talk part of the proceedings or not?

Gift-Giving: In Japan and China gift-giving is an integral part of business protocol however in the US or UK, it has negative connotations. Where gifts are exchanged should one give lavish gifts? Are they always reciprocated? Should they be wrapped? Are there numbers or colours that should be avoided?

All the above in one way or another will impact cross cultural negotiation and can only be learnt through cross cultural training. Doing or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, poor communication and cross cultural misunderstandings can all have harmful consequences.

Cross cultural negotiation training builds its foundations upon understanding etiquettes and approaches to business abroad before focusing on cross cultural differences in negotiation styles and techniques.

There are three interconnected aspects that need to be considered before entering into cross cultural negotiation.

The Basis of the Relationship: in much of Europe and North America, business is contractual in nature. Personal relationships are seen as unhealthy as they can cloud objectivity and lead to complications. In South America and much of Asia, business is personal. Partnerships will only be made with those they know, trust and feel comfortable with. It is therefore necessary to invest in relationship building before conducting business.

Information at Negotiations: Western business culture places emphasis on clearly presented and rationally argued business proposals using statistics and facts. Other business cultures rely on similar information but with differences. For example, visual and oral communicators such as the South Americans may prefer information presented through speech or using maps, graphs and charts.

Negotiation Styles: the way in which we approach negotiation differs across cultures. For example, in the Middle East rather than approaching topics sequentially negotiators may discuss issues simultaneously.

South Americans can become quite vocal and animated. The Japanese will negotiate in teams and decisions will be based upon consensual agreement. In Asia, decisions are usually made by the most senior figure or head of a family. In China, negotiators are highly trained in the art of gaining concessions. In Germany, decisions can take a long time due to the need to analyse information and statistics in great depth. In the UK, pressure tactics and imposing deadlines are ways of closing deals whilst in Greece this would backfire.

Clearly there are many factors that need to be considered when approaching cross cultural negotiation. Through cross cultural negotiation training, business personnel are given the appropriate knowledge that can help them prepare their presentations and sales pitches effectively. By tailoring your behaviour and the way you approach the negotiation you will succeed in maximising your potential.

Effective Questioning in Negotiation

2007-01-17T08:43:00.000+09:00

Effective questioning is a powerful and often underused skill in negotiation. Asking questions has many benefits.

1. It gives you a better chance of answering the brief effectively.

2. It shows the client you care about their business.

3. The information you acquire and the way in which you interpret the information can really help you establish how interested the client is in buying from you.

4.It helps to establish rapport.

It is also a natural progression to listening. If you have truly listened and not re-loaded there may be a silence for a while. Initially this may seem like an eternity but you will get used to that and will become quicker to respond.

With all the information on board you can now make good sound judgements based on what was said and not said.

There are two types of questions that are regularly used in negotiation – open and closed. When you are in fact-finding stage you use many more open questions. They are ones that require a lengthy answer and are difficult for your client to just to say yes or no.

Open questions are inquisitive, showing interest in them and what they want. They use opening words such as what, who, why, how, where and when. Closed questions tend to open with was, were, are, could, did and is. It is amazing how one or a few words can change a question from open to closed.

For example:

Closed - Can I help?

Open - How can I help?

Also never assume that you know something. For example you may assume that they are not happy with price because they have not really wanted to commit to anything. Unless you ask questions you cannot know. You may want to ask a specific closed question to pin them down.

i.e. Is there anything I can do to help you decide to use us?

So much is down to interpretation and as we all channel information in and out in different ways you need to clarify things.

Remember the adage - never assume it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Marc Lockley has spent 20 years in UK National Press media sales most of which at senior levels. Now he has developed a coaching practice that centres around two main areas: negotiation and leadership.

He offers negotiation coaching both in business and your home life. Think of how much you could save and make negotiating the sale and purchase of your own house for example?

He offers coaching that truly develops your style, talents and skills. It is tailored to your requirements to help you get the best out of deals.

Key Factors which Influence the Course of a Negotiation

2007-01-16T11:36:00.000+09:00

The parties':
cultural backgrounds (e.g. Asians are less concerned about urgency than European cultures; and the Latin temperament demands visible drama)
weltanschaungen (e.g. racial or class superiority)
mindsets (e.g. the capitalist or simple-minded economic rationalist expectation that everyone else maximises their own advantage)
negotiating styles (e.g. the bullying of Kerry Packer or Bronwyn Bishop versus the sweet reason of Desmond Tutu or Mother Teresa)
The inherent bargaining power (or 'leverage') which some parties have at the commencement of the negotiation. In particular, it may be more important, or more urgent, for one party to reach an agreement, than for the others. By refusing to compromise, parties with bargaining power may be able to force other parties to accept relatively disadvantageous terms. Common examples include circumstances in which sellers have monopoly power, or buyers monopsony power, even if the power is quite localised or short-term; and where one party has regulatory authority over one or more of the others
The additional bargaining power which the parties may be able to generate during the course of the negotiations
Advocacy, or persuasiveness of argument, by parties to the negotiation, and by influential persons and organisations external to the negotiation process (e.g. a politician, or an industry association)
Any prior experiences in negotiating among the parties, which may be positive (e.g. knowing when to trust and when to doubt; and being able to read cue clusters) or negative (e.g. having reason to distrust, or seeking revenge)
Subconscious and semi-conscious psychological factors, such as the physical 'presence' or appearance, aggressiveness, confidence, amenability, etc. of the parties to the negotiation
Prior and future relationships among the principals (e.g. established business partners may not fully exploit one another's negotiating weaknesses in in the hope of avoiding similarly predatory behaviour in a subsequent negotiation) and relationships among the agents (who have similar interests, e.g. solicitors in a small country town)

Real Estate Negotiation Tips

2007-01-16T09:34:00.000+09:00

When buying a real estate investment:

1. Check if the seller is motivated to sell the property

In real estate investing, dealing with someone who does not really want to sell their property is a waste of time – you should forget about them and move on, no matter how promising the deal might look like. How to check the seller's motivation level? It's relatively simple: try to make an appointment. If he or she puts it off (especially if it happens a few times in a row), there is a 90% chance that the seller is not motivated to sell.

2. Inspect a property before making your first offer

Never, ever make an offer before a close inspection of a property. This will put you on the back foot throughout whole negotiation process! Also, don't let the seller force you into making your offer RIGHT AFTER the inspection. You will need at least a few hours to prepare your final offer. It's best to inspect the property and then make an appointment for the following day. Do not make any offers before that time!

3. Prepare more than a single offer

Do not enter negotiations with only a single offer. Even if you don't have any aces in your sleeve, make sure that you can make at least three offers – and that your final one is still profitable enough to enter the deal!

4. Talk to the seller while leaving

If you and the seller can't reach an agreement, try this simple trick: make your final offer standing at the door. First off, this way you give a clear sign that the seller can't hope for a better deal. Then, this puts the seller on notice that you are about to walk away from the deal – he or she may not like your offer, but there is no guarantee that the next real estate investor will give the seller better terms. This can often make the seller more receptive and accept your proposition.

Selling your investment property:

1. Be sure that you really want to sell the property

Before you tell anyone that your property is on sale, think if it is really the case. If you deeply hate the idea of selling the property, it is generally a good idea to try to keep it. Every real estate deal has plusses and minuses. If you sell, you get instant cash profits, but sacrifice long term capital growth. If you decide to hold, the opposite applies.

2. Be reasonable

When it comes to negotiations, don't be ridiculous – you can demand high prices, but make sure that they are reasonable (certainly not twice the average). You will only be left with an overpriced property that will be difficult to sell. Moreover, making such high offers may cause some real estate investors to back out from the negotiations. You usually can hope for more than the buyer's first offer though, so it is always worth to haggle a little.

3. Read through all the clauses and contingencies before signing anything

There's an old saying: "The devil's in the details." Nowhere is it truer than in real estate deals. Before you sign anything, read the contract (especially the small print). Such things as being held responsible for making all necessary repairs requested by the buyer or agreeing for waiting six or seven months for the money may spoil even the best-looking deal.

4. "There's always another buyer around the corner"

If the purchaser does not seem to be able to meet your price expectations or offers you terms you cannot really accept, don't waste your time. There is always another purchaser around the corner – and even if there won't be anyone else, you can always call the buyer later, can't you?

The Art of Negotiation

2007-01-15T08:41:00.000+09:00

I want to get better at negotiation, but where to start? UK Amazon currently has 2332 books on negotiation. Google indexed nearly 4 million relevant (yeah right) pages. All I need is a simple, straightforward model that I can put to use now.

Phased by the glut of information, I went within and remembered the wise teachings from a senior manager in my early working life. So, come closer, listen up, because he was very wise indeed…

He said “Do you know your LIMits?”

“My what? said I cautiously, wondering if he was asking about my drinking capacity, driving speed or something equally off the wall.

Being worldlier than I, he noticed my confusion and helped me out.

“Lyndsay, if you want to be successful in life, you need to know your LIMits. Let me explain. What would you Like to have? What do you Intend to have? What Must you have? What are your LIMit’s?”

Slowly it dawned on me that he was talking the strange management language of mnemonics.

He wrote down the word for me like this.

L
I
M
I
T
S

And next to the letters he wrote

L – like to have: your number 1, top of the pile, best outcome
I – intend to have: your realistic, shoot for the stars but reach the moon outcome
M – must have: your bottom line. Deal is off if this is not met.

(The I,T and S are irrelevant, just convenient additions to prevent asking what your LIM are!)

Testing the Theory

And so ended his lesson. Off I scampered like the eager young graduate I was, itching to put this into practice. Thinking about a possible secondment opportunity I wrote the following:

Like – 10% bonus, new laptop, mentoring with new senior manager
Intend – 5% bonus, attendance at special course, return to new job after secondment
Must – same pay, relocation expenses paid, credit in my appraisal

The final deal I struck landed somewhere between Like and Intend, with a few perks I had not even considered, so I felt it was a success.

Why Negotiation Works

There are a couple of reasons why simple models are useful but often forgotten.

The LIMits negotiation model encourages flexible thinking in that there are 3 potential good outcomes. Compare this with the most common alternative - success or failure – and you can see there is only 1 measly good outcome. You don’t have to be a gambling pro to work out which approach is best! The secret of the LIMits model is if you don’t meet all the criteria for success, then the opposite is not failure, just a different outcome.

The other benefit of using the LIMits negotiation model is it forces you to prepare, gaining you vital spare capacity when you are in the thick of the negotiation. You will be clear about your position and better able to get that across.

Information overload

As I demonstrated, simple models are forgotten because we seek out newer, shinier ideas in books, the internet or from other sources. Reduce information overload by re-using what you already know or recycling an old idea into one that works today. Old knowledge is not always redundant.

So, negotiate that new job, better deal or contract. All you need is to know your LIMits.

Overcome the Myths of Negotiation

2007-01-12T08:17:00.000+09:00

Wouldn’t it be great if every client agreed to all the terms of a sale, no questions asked and no negotiation required? Although most people answer “yes” to this question, any salesperson knows that negotiating a sale is never that easy. And while negotiation is one of the most commonly practiced functions of communication, it is often the least understood.

Because most people don’t understand the dynamics of negotiation, they may get nervous or apprehensive about the process. Even professional salespeople get sweaty palms and anxious stomachs before sitting down at the bargaining table. The trouble resides in all the myths associated with negotiation. But, regardless of what you’re selling, you can make the inevitable sales process more productive when you understand and overcome the following seven myths of negotiation:

Myth #1— In order to be a successful negotiator, you must be an SOB. Mythbuster— This statement is completely false. In fact, most people become SOBs in sales situations because they are poor negotiators and must resort to ruthlessness to get what they want. In reality, effective negotiation has a great deal to do with the attitude you bring to the table. If you approach negotiation as a win-or-lose battle, then that’s exactly what you’ll get: a battle. You’ll struggle against the other party, waste time and energy defending positions, and resort to sneaking things past your counterparts. Then when it’s all said and done, you’ll probably come away with less than if you’d have treated the negotiation as an opportunity for everyone involved to profit.

Myth #2— Negotiating is synonymous with fighting. Mythbuster— Fights generally break out when people can’t negotiate effectively. When you understand effective negotiation, you can actually head off misunderstandings and conflicts that may arise in the process. You’ll know how to settle issues with customers without fighting. And in many cases, you’ll be able to mediate conflicts, misunderstandings, and stalemates between other people and groups.

Myth #3— Negotiating is a talent reserved for shrewd businesspeople, experienced diplomats, and precocious children. Mythbuster— Anyone can learn to negotiate effectively, without being a genius or manipulative. Most salespeople don’t consider themselves negotiators, and certainly not professional negotiators. Many equate professional negotiators with hard-charging corporate raiders launching takeovers on other businesses, diplomats meeting to discuss the fates of nations, or lawyers settling million-dollar lawsuits.

But each and every person on the planet is a negotiator, and many times without realizing it. When you take time to learn the art of effective negotiation, you actually can get more of what you want. You can forge better and more productive relationships with your clients and all the people around you in other areas of life.

Myth #4— When you sit down at the bargaining table, you must abandon all ethics to get what you want. Mythbuster— Getting what you want doesn’t mean stealing it from others. By understanding negotiation, you can prevent being conned into things you don’t want to do or getting less than you deserve. Consider negotiating for a new sales position. The terms you agree on with the new employer will obviously affect your time with that particular company, and also your time with future employers. The compensation package from one company will set the pattern for the level of income you can command when negotiating with other companies. It’s not unusual for the difference in two people’s earnings to be more affected by their individual negotiating abilities than their experience or talents.

Myth #5— You must have the upper hand to negotiate effectively. Mythbuster— If you think that negotiation involves one group trying to beat the other out of a good deal, then you have an inaccurate perception of the process. Actually, the weaker your position, the better your negotiating skills must be, because you can save a huge amount of money. For example, suppose you’re negotiating the price of a new computer system for your company. The person selling the system knows your current system is outdated and that you must make a purchase immediately to stay competitive. If you can bring the price down $15,000 from what the seller asks, you’ll save much more than the upfront cost. By the time you add interest on a five-year financing plan, you’ll have quite a savings that’s well worth the negotiating effort.

Myth #6— Negotiating is a time time-wasting activity that only clogs the wheels of progress. Mythbuster— When done right, negotiating is an enormous timesaver because it makes everyone work together to find solutions. Rather than struggling through a one-sided sale, it is much easier when both parties understand how to negotiate and actively participate in the process to produce the best results possible for everyone. Plus, enlisting others can help fulfill your plans and dreams.

Myth #7— Negotiating is always a formal process with clearly defined parameters and procedures. Mythbuster— Negotiating is the sum and substance of all human give and take. That’s right; negotiation actually takes many different forms that you may not normally consider. For example, if you and your spouse are deciding who’s going to prepare dinner and who’s going to clean up the dirty dishes, then you’re negotiating. Or maybe you’re haggling the price of an item at a garage sale with the seller; this is also a negotiating process. Chances are you negotiate much more frequently than you think. In fact, any time you’re making a deal or working out any kind of agreement with anyone, then you’re negotiating. And if you’re conducting these daily negotiations effectively, you’ll reach an agreement that satisfies both parties. You can actually improve your professionalism in dealing with all types of people by applying some of the negotiation skills you practice without realizing it.

Busting the Myths of Negotiation Human beings negotiate constantly, so it’s vital to get beyond the negative thoughts that cause us to ask for less than we deserve. And the art of negotiation requires more than just trading off with others to get the things you want. Negotiating is a process of understanding people and discovering ways you can work together to produce positive results for everyone involved.

When you understand the myths surrounding the negotiation process, then overcome these fallacies, you will reap greater benefits from your sales profession. Most important, you’ll come away from every sale completely satisfied for yourself and confident that the other party feels a similar satisfaction.

Salary Negotiation

2007-01-11T08:22:00.000+09:00

One of the most difficult situations for an employee, is when he/she wants to ask for a salary raise. However, if you are well prepared and use the right approach then you can negotiate an amount of money that both you and your boss can be happy with. There's nothing wrong when asking for a raise, if you do it professionally.

And here are some suggestions:

First do some thinking. What are those negotiating techniques you could implement when asking for a salary raise? When is the best time to ask for a raise? What is the best way to ask for a raise? It all depends.

Stay focused. Prepare your mind for success. This is quite vital. If you don't expect your boss to listen to you then how do you expect to get a salary raise?

When negotiating your salary it's important to be flexible and have alternative plans. For example your boss may not offer you more money but different benefits like stock options, tuition reimbursement etc. Will you be happy then?

The majority of employers ask for a raise without even knowing their market. This is a big mistake. Do some salary and job research and see what other employees in your field earn. This will strengthen your position when negotiating your salary with your boss.

See what you worth in the market. You must think like a freelancer. Search for other job opportunities, talk to other companies, get offers, see what your value is in your area of expertise. You may need to make career moves. The bureau of labor statistics is a great resource. check it out.

Don't use your emotions to outsmart your boss. You will not win. Your boss is probably experienced enough to not fall for these techniques. Just don't bring emotions when negotiating your salary. Be professional and always give your boss enough time to think what he/she can do for you.

Take your future in your hands. Stop being manipulated by your employer. Get the salary raise you deserve using powerful psychological and other secret techniques. Make your plan, prepare yourself, start negotiating your salary and beat your boss! Good luck.

Three Great Negotiation Techniques

2007-01-10T14:42:00.000+09:00

Add the following three negotiation techniques your arsenal.

Win-Win Solutions

When negotiating, always look for win-win solutions, and present them as such. When I was selling real estate, it was common for sellers to think that buyers wanted the lowest price they could get. The sellers often wanted the highest price, but buyers usually wanted an easy transaction, lower costs and lower payments. A seller that gives these things can get a higher price and both sides will win.

If you need to get the garage cleaned, and your son wants a new watch, you have the makings of a win-win negotiation. You might tell him, "Look, you want that watch, and I want a clean garage. Let's both get what we want okay? Clean it up today and we'll get your watch. How's that sound?"

The key to good win-win solutions in your negotiations is to find non-conflicting needs or wants. Notice how some conservation groups negotiate to stop private land development. They want the land left wild, and the owners want to get some value out of the land and still be able to use the house, ranch, etc. So the groups buy a "conservation easement," preventing development, but leaving the title with the current owners. Both sides win.

Exclude Competition

If you could exclude competition in any negotiation, you'll have a better chance of getting what you want, right? How do you do that? Start by never mentioning competition to the other side. It's possible they don't know all their options, and it's not your job to enlighten them.
At the negotiating table, be ready to confront the competition head-on, when the other side brings it up.

In the carpet cleaning business for example, an owner could politely dismiss the competition when it is brought up. He could say something like, "They're okay, if price is all that's important to you. Of course, they can't clean as deep with their machines. If you want the deepest cleaning and at a temperature that kills dust mites and other things in the carpet, you have to have a machine like ours, and fully trained technicians."

Extreme Initial Positions

Everyone knows this technique, but most are afraid to use it. A real estate investor I was talking to the other day told me,"If you aren't embarrassed by your offer, it isn't low enough." He's made millions in real estate, so I think he's worth listening to.

Many years ago I sold a car. A nice guy, after crawling under and inside the car, offered me half of what I was asking. I said no, and he left his phone number, in case I changed my mind. As he drove away, I wondered what was wrong with the car, and I was suddenly hoping I could get just a bit more than that half-price offer. My expectations had been altered quickly. Fortunately another person gave me the full asking price before I decided to pick up that phone.

There are dozens of good negotiation techniques that you can profitably use. Why not start by practicing these three?

Silence and Negotiation

2007-01-10T09:25:00.000+09:00

One of the most powerful tools in a negotiator’s toolbox is silence: absolute, blank-faced, quiet. It can be used when confronted with a tough situation, when given news that is too good to be true, or when you just don’t want to say anything stupid.

Many of us feel compelled to fill the air with words and noise; in fact, it seems that we fear silence. Silence can be uncomfortable; this is particularly true for talkative people (i.e. extroverts). What makes it worse is that talkative people are usually talking about themselves; this is exactly what you don’t want to do when you negotiate. Fast talking, extroverted sales people may be the worst negotiators on the planet.

So why do we dread silence? I am not a therapist, but I think it is because we fear that someone might catch us at our game or see us for what we really are. Silence is a stark naked reality.

Silence can buy you time to think. When you find yourself in a tricky spot in a negotiation, stop everything, shut up and listen. It makes you look smart and it gives you time to think about what you should do next. Meanwhile, because you are not talking you are not making any concessions or giving information to the other side.

It takes practice to be silent. One trick is to stop talking and take notes slowly, which looks really intelligent (although you could be just doodling). Silence can be uncomfortable for the other party as well; what you want is for them to speak first and fill the empty space with information to help you. By definition, when you are silent you are a better listener. When you are silent it also cues the other side to speak. Silence can force the other party to “anchor” (i.e. state their position) first; this can create a strategic advantage for you.

An abbreviated form of silence that is very effective is to incorporate long pauses in your speech. This can be almost as uncomfortable as pure silence. Long pauses can trap the other party into finishing your sentences and bumping their jaws. Practice by pausing for a five second count between your key points; it will seem like an eternity to the other party. Expect them to leap forward filling in the silence; let them speak.

After you master silence, you may occasionally find that others may play the same game as effectively as you. At some point staring at each other waiting for the other to speak seems pointless. In this case, you can just restate what you said previously. Often this restatement challenges the other party to reply. Listen to what they say.

“Silence is a fence around wisdom”. (German Proverb)

Finding a Fair Compromise

2007-01-09T09:12:00.000+09:00

Negotiation skills help you to resolve situations where what you want conflicts with what someone else wants. The aim of negotiation is to explore the situation to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

There are different styles of negotiation, depending on circumstances. Where you do not expect to deal with people ever again and you do not need their goodwill, then it may be appropriate to ‘play hardball’, seeking to win a negotiation while the other person loses out. Many people go through this when they buy or sell a house – this is why house-buying can be such a confrontational and unpleasant experience. Similarly, where there is a great deal at stake in a negotiation (for example, in large sales negotiations), then it may be appropriate to prepare in detail and use a certain amount of subtle gamesmanship to gain advantage.

Both of these approaches are usually wrong for resolving disputes with people you have an ongoing relationship with: if one person plays hardball, then this disadvantages the other person – this may, quite fairly, lead to reprisal later. Similarly, using tricks and manipulation during a negotiation can severely undermine trust and damage teamwork. While a manipulative person may not get caught out if negotiation is infrequent, this is not the case when people work together on a frequent basis. Honesty and openness are the best policies in this case.

Preparing for a successful negotiation…

Depending on the scale of the disagreement, a level of preparation may be appropriate for conducting a successful negotiation.

For small disagreements, excessive preparation can be counter-productive because it takes time that is better used elsewhere. It can also be seen as manipulative because just as it strengthens your position, it can weaken the other person’s.

If a major disagreement needs to be resolved, then it can be worth preparing thoroughly. Think through the following points before you start negotiating and note down your ideas on our free worksheet:

Goals: what do you want to get out of the negotiation? What do you expect the other person to want?

Trades: What do you and the other person have that you can trade? What do you each have that the other might want? What might you each be prepared to give away?

Alternatives: if you don’t reach agreement with the other person, what alternatives do you have? Are these good or bad? How much does it matter if you do not reach agreement? Does failure to reach an agreement cut you out of future opportunities? What alternatives might the other person have?

Relationships: what is the history of the relationship? Could or should this history impact the negotiation? Will there be any hidden issues that may influence the negotiation? How will you handle these?

‘Expected outcomes’: what outcome will people be expecting from this negotiation? What has the outcome been in the past, and what precedents have been set?

The consequences: what are the consequences for you of winning or losing this negotiation? What are the consequences for the other person?

Power: who has what power in the relationship? Who controls resources? Who stands to lose the most if agreement isn’t reached? What power does the other person have to deliver what you hope for?

Possible solutions: based on all of the considerations, what possible compromises might there be?

Negotiation: Is The Seller Motivated?

2007-01-09T08:27:00.000+09:00

Whatever you’re negotiating, it is essential to gauge the urgency with which the other party wants to or needs to make a deal.

When you’re buying a piece of real estate, for example, one of the key questions to ask the listing broker is: “How motivated is this seller?”

Usually, you’ll get an answer that will tell you something significant:

(1) If the realtor balks or hesitates before answering, you can fairly safely surmise the seller is not motivated, and neither is his agent, for that matter. In this case, where there is no urgency you can’t look forward to picking the property up at a bargain price or achieving any kind of deal quickly.

(2) The most frequently occurring reply is either “Very” or “She’s motivated.” Then, you need to ask a simple question. Just repeat what the agent said: “She IS?” This should be enough to induce the person to disclose some details, for instance, that the seller purchased a new home out of state, or that she is going through a major life event, such as an empty nest or a divorce.

You can follow-up these probes with another that I’ve found very useful:

When do you expect a price reduction?

Again, this is a litmus test of the seller’s motivation. While realtors are supposed to maintain a certain amount of confidentiality, face it, they’re talkers and they want to earn a commission and the sooner the better.

Often, they’ll say: “I don’t know if I should tell you this but I think we might be seeing a reduction before too long.”

Cool!

Now you have confirmation that there is motivation.

Another pertinent question is: “How many offers have you had?”

You might be thinking they’ll never tell me that!

Wrong, many of them will and this is one more indication of a motivated seller.

By the way, all of this probing is a precursor to making an offer. If you don’t see a string of green lights ahead, inviting you to tender an offer, go no farther!

How to Ask the Boss For a Raise -- And Get It

2007-01-08T15:56:00.000+09:00

By Marshall Loeb From MarketWatch

You've been working hard at your job for a while now, and you think you're entitled to a raise. How do you convince your boss to agree with you?

Companies will increase salaries by an average of 3.7% this year, according to a national survey from Salary.com, but there are ways to get more if you can prove your worth.

Start by knowing what the market is paying for your position. Professional organizations often publish salary surveys that might be a good starting point. Also, research Web sites such as Salary.com and the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics' "Wages, Earnings and Benefits" section, at BLS.gov.

Ask around, as well. Your friends and co-workers may prove helpful. Just remember to check with trusted sources; you never know when a co-worker is inflating his salary to brag.

Your human resources department might also help, as they may publish pay ranges for job titles, especially at large companies.

Next, you must prove to your boss that you are worth the money. Think strategically. How much money have you saved the company, or how much revenue have you generated? What other accomplishments can you point to? Be specific, and back up your list with numbers and facts. Before-and-after comparisons are useful, also. Bosses tend to have selective memory: Some employers won't always remember your successes, but they will remember your failures.

Many companies stipulate that pay raises must stay within a set range. If you feel you've taken on additional responsibilities since you were hired, you might be able to get around this by demonstrating that you are working in a job that's different from your original one.

Do not attempt to improvise. Plan what you're going to say before you meet with the boss. Also, don't be demanding or threatening. Instead, explain what you've accomplished and what you plan on doing in the future. Then, ask how the company would feel about paying you a certain amount more per month, and demonstrate that the amount correlates with similar positions in the current market. Remember, the figure you request should be your "top limit" -- you're unlikely to get anything more than your initial request.

Finally, timing is everything. Don't ask for a pay increase when your company is hurting financially. Study your company's financial health. This is easier if you work for a publicly held company, so rely on your network and investigative skills if you are at a private company.

Negotiation Techniques

2007-01-08T08:04:00.000+09:00

Add the following three negotiation techniques your arsenal.

Win-Win Solutions

When negotiating, always look for win-win solutions, and present them as such. When I was selling real estate, it was common for sellers to think that buyers wanted the lowest price they could get. The sellers often wanted the highest price, but buyers usually wanted an easy transaction, lower costs and lower payments. A seller that gives these things can get a higher price and both sides will win.

If you need to get the garage cleaned, and your son wants a new watch, you have the makings of a win-win negotiation. You might tell him, "Look, you want that watch, and I want a clean garage. Let's both get what we want okay? Clean it up today and we'll get your watch. How's that sound?"

The key to good win-win solutions in your negotiations is to find non-conflicting needs or wants. Notice how some conservation groups negotiate to stop private land development. They want the land left wild, and the owners want to get some value out of the land and still be able to use the house, ranch, etc. So the groups buy a "conservation easement," preventing development, but leaving the title with the current owners. Both sides win.

Exclude Competition

If you could exclude competition in any negotiation, you'll have a better chance of getting what you want, right? How do you do that? Start by never mentioning competition to the other side. It's possible they don't know all their options, and it's not your job to enlighten them. At the negotiating table, be ready to confront the competition head-on, when the other side brings it up.

In the carpet cleaning business for example, an owner could politely dismiss the competition when it is brought up. He could say something like, "They're okay, if price is all that's important to you. Of course, they can't clean as deep with their machines. If you want the deepest cleaning and at a temperature that kills dust mites and other things in the carpet, you have to have a machine like ours, and fully trained technicians."

Extreme Initial Positions

Everyone knows this technique, but most are afraid to use it. A real estate investor I was talking to the other day told me,"If you aren't embarrassed by your offer, it isn't low enough." He's made millions in real estate, so I think he's worth listening to.

Many years ago I sold a car. A nice guy, after crawling under and inside the car, offered me half of what I was asking. I said no, and he left his phone number, in case I changed my mind. As he drove away, I wondered what was wrong with the car, and I was suddenly hoping I could get just a bit more than that half-price offer. My expectations had been altered quickly. Fortunately another person gave me the full asking price before I decided to pick up that phone.

There are dozens of good negotiation techniques that you can profitably use. Why not start by practicing these three?

Disclosure Policy

2007-01-01T09:32:00.000+09:00

This policy is valid from 1st January 2007

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Keys To Negotiating Well

2006-12-24T11:22:00.000+09:00

Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions! These 8 keys will assist you negotiate well.

1. Know the outcome you want.
Do you want a win-win outcome where both parties benefit? Or a win-lose outcome where someone (presumably the other party) is not happy with the result?

It is important you know what type of outcome you want because that will affect the long term relationship you have with the other party. Win-win outcomes are beneficial where you have an ongoing relationship. For example, when you negotiate a pay rise, you don't want your boss to feel he/she is the 'loser'. However, if you are buying a car from a car lot, you may not be so concerned about whether the car salesperson feels as though they 'won' in the negotiation!

2. Know your 'position'.
How important is this deal to you? How much do you need it? Could you walk away from the deal? What alternatives do you have? What is your "bottom line" and what (if anything) are you prepared to concede? You should not start negotiating until you have thought through and considered all of the consequences for all of the different outcomes that may eventuate.

3. Know your counterpart's 'position'.
Try to work out what is important to them in the deal. When you know that you have an advantage. Try not to reveal what is important to you! Keep a poker face and play your cards close to your chest.

4. Work out different scenarios ahead of time.
Being caught by surprise will NOT strengthen your position! Think through all the different possibilities which may eventuate and plan for each and every one of them. It is useful to brainstorm and write down on a piece of paper what could possibly happen. For example, if they said, "XYZ" - I would respond with, "ABC". This way you can be prepared for just about anything that may happen.

5. Know yourself.
Know your own weaknesses. If you are a more gentle personality your natural aversion to conflict may toss you into concessions that aren't necessary! If this is you, learn about yourself and take counter action. If you are overly stubborn and never give way to minor points, know this about yourself. Your stubbornness, holding out for 100% your own way, may cause you to lose a really great deal!

6. Back up your position with logic.
If you negotiate from a purely emotional position, emotion will sway you from your position. Fear of loss, sense of failure, conflict, pressure, sentiment! All can be applied to sway you from sticking to what you really want. When negotiating for a pay rise know what similar companies are paying for similar work. When placing an offer on a house substantiate your lower offer with the costs of repaving the driveway, renovating the bathroom, retiling the entrance….or whatever you see needs doing. This is a much stronger position than plucking a number out of thin air!

7. Work out what you can concede.
Find something in the deal that for you will not be important but for your counterpart may be of significance. This will be like gold to you! A 'sweetener' can be what clinches the bargain in your favour. You will need to be poker faced and pretend this is a big deal to concede! Save this item for the final offer you make.

8. Have an exit strategy.
If everything goes against you, you will be saved by your contingency planning! If you don't feel in control, stop talking. Immediately!!! Make sure you are listening to the other person. If you are doing most of the talking the chances are you are doing most of the conceding. Offer to break the meeting and reconvene at another time when you have been able to consider what has already been put forward.

Skillful negotiation takes time and practice. Armed with these basic skills it doesn't matter how reticent you may feel towards negotiating an outcome you want! By applying these keys you will be well positioned to improve your negotiation skills and feel more empowered when approaching tricky situations.

Expectation in Negotiation

2006-12-21T09:10:00.000+09:00

The fact that people's expectations influence reality can help dramatically in the negotiation process. Individuals tend to make decisions based on how others expect them to perform. When we know someone expects something from us, we try to satisfy her/him in order to gain respect and likeability.

You have probably heard the saying "What gets measured, gets done." The same is true for expectations: That which is expected is what usually happens. People rise to meet your expectations of them, thereby turning your expectations into reality. Ever notice how people who think they're going to be fired suddenly experience a drop in the quality and enthusiasm for their work? Then what happens? You guessed it; they get fired. Their belief in their impending termination causes them to act a certain way, and those expectations then work to bring about the very thing that at first was only a figment of their imagination.

Numerous studies have shown how expectation dramatically influences people's performance. For example, in one study, girls who were told they would perform poorly on a math test received poor grades. In another, assembly line workers who were told that their job was complex performed less efficiently at the same task than those who were told that their job was simple. Another case study demonstrated that adults who were given complex mazes solved them faster when told that the mazes were based on a grade-school level of difficulty. Based on these examples, it is clear to see that if you add the use of expectation to your negotiation repertoire, you have one more tool through which you can influence the other party.

Five Basic Principles

2006-12-19T12:13:00.000+09:00

Five Basic Principles

Be hard on the problem and soft on the person
Focus on needs, not positions
Emphasise common ground
Be inventive about options
Make clear agreements

Where possible prepare in advance. Consider what your needs are and what the other person's are. Consider outcomes that would address more of what you both want. Commit yourself to a win/win approach, even if tactics used by the other person seem unfair. Be clear that your task will be to steer the negotiation in a positive direction. To do so you may need to do some of the following:

Reframe

Ask a question to reframe. (e.g. "If we succeed in resolving this problem,. what differences would you notice?" Request checking of understanding. ("Please tell me what you heard me/them say.") Request something she/he said to be re-stated more positively, or as an "I" statement. Re-interpret an attack on the person as an attack on the issue.

Respond not React

Manage your emotions.
Let some accusations, attacks, threats or ultimatums pass.
Make it possible for the other party to back down without feeling humiliated (e.g. by identifying changed circumstances which could justify a changed position on the issue.)

Re-focus on the issue

Maintain the relationship and try to resolve the issue. (e.g. "What's fair for both of us?" Summarise how far you've got. Review common ground and agreement so far. Focus on being partners solving the problem, not opponents. Divide the issue into parts. Address a less difficult aspect when stuck. Invite trading ("If you will, then I will") Explore best and worst alternatives to negotiating an acceptable agreement between you.

Identify Unfair Tactics

Name the behaviour as a tactic. Address the motive for using the tactic. Chance the physical circumstances. Have a break. Change locations, seating arrangements etc. Go into smaller groups. Meet privately. Call for meeting to end now and resume later, perhaps "to give an opportunity for reflection".

Negotiation Tactic

2006-12-19T10:25:00.000+09:00

How many times have we heard this commonly used negotiation tactic? The “take it or leave it” tactic is basically an ultimatum designed to prevent further negotiations from taking place. It is almost always a bluff and a challenge to the other side to see who has the stronger nerves. The problem with this tactic is that it causes too much resistance and conflict to facilitate an agreement. This tactic is aggressive and demanding, two things that don’t sit well with your counterpart. What you are basically saying with this tactic is, “Its going to be my way, or no way.” Now the other side is going to have to reassert their own dominance over the situation by choosing to “leave it” rather than to “take it” to save face and show you who really is in charge. Where is the negotiation now?

How To Counter This Tactic

There are three main ways you can counter the “take it or leave it” tactic. The first way is by simply ignoring it. Let it fall on deaf ears and just continue negotiating like you never heard it. This lets you test the seriousness of their threat. The second way is by asking them, “What do you think might happen if we don’t reach an agreement.” This will get the other side to realize the consequences of not reaching a negotiated settlement. The third way is by probing more into their interests and needs on the issue rather than focusing in on their demands.

Negotiation Occurs All the Time

2006-12-18T08:36:00.000+09:00

By now you've been more aware of the times when you are in a negotiation with someone, whether it be a customer, co-worker, vendor, or someone at home. You've no doubt had one or two outcomes that were very different than what was available to you before the win/win training. You also probably had many negotiations that didn't result in win/wins, that went as they have in the past, or perhaps worse than usual as you tried new things. Remember, to be a successful win/win negotiator, you must:

A. Have the knowledge, which you now have and can reinforce and strengthen by review of the training materials in your manual and in the book, Getting to Yes.

B. Have the desire to be a great negotiator. This includes seeing yourself as a businessperson, providing leadership for others and not simply focusing on tasks alone.

C. You must practice. Each unsuccessful negotiation or failed attempt to create a spirit of collaboration can be used and learned from. Rather than take the position that what you are doing doesn't work or some other defeatist attitude, look at what you learned from your success and failures, what you could have done to have a different outcome, and begin experimenting and trying different things. Negotiations, like many skills, require practice daily. Let's review:

Separate the people from the issues. You must be soft on the people but tough on the issues. This means also creating a spirit of collaboration and not saying things that could be taken as offensive. For example: I feel pressure rather than you are pressuring me. Set the tone of collaboration early on in the discussion!

Uncover interests. Positions are solutions. Interest are the needs behind those solutions, not only being aware of your interest but also asking questions to uncover the other party's interests.

Creating options. When working with customers, you may need to create some commitment. For example, "We certainly want to see, Mrs. Jones, that whatever we do meets with your needs and requirements. Here are a few options of ways we may go about doing that..." Do not try to rush this part of the process. Often times you can create solutions that are better than either party would have dreamt of.

BATNA. Remember to have a backup, an alternative to negotiated settlement. This is not your bottom line in negotiation, rather it is what you can do without the other party if you cannot reach a negotiated agreement with them.

Use objective criteria or an objective process for reaching a decision. The classic example here is if your car is stolen, what should the insurance company pay you. Is it wholesale, retail, is it what's remaining on the financing, is it what's in the paper on Sunday on similar vehicles, etc. You will want to forward the objective criteria that helps persuade the other party and that creates a foundation of fairness for both parties.

Relationship. One of the truest tests of the successful win/win negotiation is that the parties will want to negotiate again. There may be some upsets along the way during the negotiation, but the primary results of the negotiation in terms of the value provided for each party, and the state of the relationship at that point, is what really counts.

Commitments. What are all the factors to be included in a negotiated agreement. Never make a negotiation about one issue because then it becomes a battle of wills. Rather than have inflexible criteria for the ending of the negotiation, this part of the process involves you in thinking about all the things that need to be considered for an agreement to be complete and to be followed through by each party successfully.

The Advocate's Approach

2006-12-15T12:44:00.000+09:00

In the advocacy approach, a skilled negotiator usually serves as advocate for one party to the negotiation and attempts to obtain the most favorable outcomes possible for that party. In this process the negotiator attempts to determine the minimum outcome(s) the other party is (or parties are) willing to accept, then adjusts their demands accordingly. A "successful" negotiation in the advocacy approach is when the negotiator is able to obtain all or most of the outcomes their party desires, but without driving the other party to permanently break off negotiations

Traditional negotiating is sometimes called win-lose because of the assumption of a fixed "pie", that one person's gain results in another person's loss. This is only true, however, if only a single issue needs to be resolved, such as a price in a simple sales negotiation. If multiple issues are discussed, differences in the parties' preferences make win-win negotiation possible. For example, in a labor negotiation, the union might prefer job security over wage gains. If the employers have opposite preferences, a trade is possible that is beneficial to both parties. Such a negotiation is therefore not an adversial zero-sum game.

Negotiation: Is The Seller Motivated?

2006-12-15T08:45:00.000+09:00

Gift Appreciation

2006-12-14T10:02:00.000+09:00

Planning for Negotiation

2006-12-14T09:06:00.000+09:00

The first (and perhaps most often overlooked) step in negotiation planning is to acknowledge that negotiating is a process, not just a single meeting. A successful negotiation requires both time and effort over an extended period.

The next step is to do your homework. Start by writing down your objectives. Divide your objectives into three categories -- "need," "want" and "would be nice." The "needs" are what you must get out of the negotiation, the "wants" can be conceded on (but not without getting something in return) and the "would be nice" items can be more readily used as bargaining chips. Remember that the other side does not need to know that you're willing to part with the "would be nice" items. Do a three-category list for the other party.

When developing these three-category lists, keep the following in mind: the economic impact on each party, supply and demand, past precedent and standard practices in the industry, time constraints, legal implications, and long- and short-term advantages.

Negotiation Skills You Need To Know

2006-12-14T08:49:00.000+09:00

Negotiation, Integrity and Trickery

2006-12-13T08:38:00.000+09:00

In any negotiation it is important to establish a sense of integrity so that the other party knows that they can trust you with whatever negotiation is rendered. All too often people who were involved in negotiation are untrustworthy and use trickery early on in order to get concessions from the other party.

In team negotiations often the trickery and the meanness is used and then a nice guy is brought in later to close the deal. It is the basic good guy bad guy routine. Nevertheless, a seasoned veteran in negotiation will see these signs of game playing and trickery early on and establish that the other party has no integrity and perhaps even voiced his concern to the other party that he cannot trust them or anything they may say so how can they possibly negotiate.

Such a tactic is often dangerous because if you call someone a liar usually they are offended and someone offended generally wants revenge. In other words they will take out their revenge by insisting upon irrelevant or unnecessary concessions by you.

So how do you call someone a liar who is using trickery and deceit in negotiation? Often you can tell a story about another negotiation were someone had lied to you in a similar situation and what you thought of that person rather than calling them a liar directly.

No matter what happens you must establish the need for integrity and lack of trickery from your opponent in any negotiation if you are to reach a favorable settlement for all concerned. Consider this in 2006.

How to Negotiate Successfully

2006-12-12T15:08:00.000+09:00

This is the alleged transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and a Canadian maritime contact off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid a collision

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees south to avoid collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US navy ship; I say again divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse; your call.

An example of how not to negotiate

Here are some of the ways that you can ensure a successful negotiation

Preparation Consider what your needs are and the other persons. Think about outcomes that would meet more of what you both want. Do not be afraid of finding creative and innovative solutions.

Win/win or win/loseA win /win approach is an integrative approach where both sides will benefit. Win/lose where each side is trying to achieve maximum gains and impose maximum losses is inherently unstable. In real life often the two approaches are at work which creates tension. Experienced negotiators will usually adopt the win/win approach as the stability of the outcome and the long term relationship are more important than maximum concessions.

Pay attention to detail

Misunderstandings are potential time bombs set to go off just when agreement is in sight. Be explicit on the points you are discussing and focus initially on primary objectives so you stay focused. Be very clear what each side has to offer. Emphasise the common ground and the points that you both agree on.

Respond not react

Manage your emotions and make it possible for the other party to back down or change their position without being humiliated. Do not get caught up in game playing and remember it does not matter what others do – operate with integrity and be true to yourself and your values.
And......Aim for a negotiation where both sides benefit and if you cannot get that leave the door ajar for another time.

Negotiations - Using the Refrigerator Saleman's Trick

2006-12-12T10:38:00.000+09:00

article by Dr. Gary S. Goodman for Ezine Articles

A major benefit of being a full-time consultant is that you get a chance to learn an amazing amount from your clients. In a sense, this is a career where every day you’re enjoying a continuing education class.

One of my client-taught classes pertained to Negotiation.

I was working with the owner of a rather large appliance store in Los Angeles and he gave me a tutorial on the three grades of refrigerators. Each, of course, was separated from the other by price, about $250 in each grade.

So, you could purchase an entry level fridge at about $500, a middle grade at $750, and the top of the line started at around $1,000.

“Guess which one is most profitable to us” he challenged.

“The most expensive, I suppose” I offered back.

“Wrong!” he beamed, obviously relishing his victory over the professional smart guy.
“It’s the middle grade, and can you guess which one most people end up buying?”

This time, I was ready.

“The middle one?”

“Exactly,” my client pointed out.

He went on to tell me that the most expensive model was the one that he made the least profit on, which, you have to admit, is counterintuitive. He also said, feature for feature it was actually the best value for the customer and the most durable.

People like choices, he went on, and if you can offer three grades of anything, they’ll gravitate to the middle because they think it’s SAFE.

They could do better or worse with regard to their investment, but the middle just feels right.

Remember this the next time you’re negotiating. Don’t just offer a high and a low.

Always include a most profitable “middle” choice!

Negotiation Occurs All the Time

2006-12-12T09:19:00.000+09:00

By now you've been more aware of the times when you are in a negotiation with someone, whether it be a customer, co-worker, vendor, or someone at home. You've no doubt had one or two outcomes that were very different than what was available to you before the win/win training. You also probably had many negotiations that didn't result in win/wins, that went as they have in the past, or perhaps worse than usual as you tried new things. Remember, to be a successful win/win negotiator, you must:

A. Have the knowledge, which you now have and can reinforce and strengthen by review of the training materials in your manual and in the book, Getting to Yes.

B. Have the desire to be a great negotiator. This includes seeing yourself as a businessperson, providing leadership for others and not simply focusing on tasks alone.

C. You must practice. Each unsuccessful negotiation or failed attempt to create a spirit of collaboration can be used and learned from. Rather than take the position that what you are doing doesn't work or some other defeatist attitude, look at what you learned from your success and failures, what you could have done to have a different outcome, and begin experimenting and trying different things. Negotiations, like many skills, require practice daily. Let's review:

Separate the people from the issues. You must be soft on the people but tough on the issues. This means also creating a spirit of collaboration and not saying things that could be taken as offensive. For example: I feel pressure rather than you are pressuring me. Set the tone of collaboration early on in the discussion!

Uncover interests. Positions are solutions. Interest are the needs behind those solutions, not only being aware of your interest but also asking questions to uncover the other party's interests.

Creating options. When working with customers, you may need to create some commitment. For example, "We certainly want to see, Mrs. Jones, that whatever we do meets with your needs and requirements. Here are a few options of ways we may go about doing that..." Do not try to rush this part of the process. Often times you can create solutions that are better than either party would have dreamt of.

BATNA. Remember to have a backup, an alternative to negotiated settlement. This is not your bottom line in negotiation, rather it is what you can do without the other party if you cannot reach a negotiated agreement with them.

Use objective criteria or an objective process for reaching a decision. The classic example here is if your car is stolen, what should the insurance company pay you. Is it wholesale, retail, is it what's remaining on the financing, is it what's in the paper on Sunday on similar vehicles, etc. You will want to forward the objective criteria that helps persuade the other party and that creates a foundation of fairness for both parties.

Relationship. One of the truest tests of the successful win/win negotiation is that the parties will want to negotiate again. There may be some upsets along the way during the negotiation, but the primary results of the negotiation in terms of the value provided for each party, and the state of the relationship at that point, is what really counts.

Commitments. What are all the factors to be included in a negotiated agreement. Never make a negotiation about one issue because then it becomes a battle of wills. Rather than have inflexible criteria for the ending of the negotiation, this part of the process involves you in thinking about all the things that need to be considered for an agreement to be complete and to be followed through by each party successfully.

How to Better Communicate Cross Culturally

2006-12-08T11:53:00.000+09:00

Cross cultural negotiation is one of many specialized areas within the wider field of cross cultural communications. By taking cross cultural negotiation training, negotiators and sales personnel give themselves an advantage over competitors. There is an argument that proposes that culture is inconsequential to cross cultural negotiation.

It maintains that as long as a proposal is financially attractive it will succeed. However, this is a naïve way of approaching international business. Let us look at a brief example of how cross cultural negotiation training can benefit the international business person: There are two negotiators dealing with the same potential client in the Middle East. Both have identical proposals and packages. One ignores the importance of cross cultural negotiation training believing the proposal will speak for itself. The other undertakes some cross cultural training. He/she learns about the culture, values, beliefs, etiquette and approaches to business, meetings and negotiations.

Nine times out of ten the latter will succeed over the rival. This is because 1) it is likely they would have endeared themselves more to the host negotiation team and 2) they would be able to tailor their approach to the negotiations in a way that maximises the potential of a positive outcome. Cross cultural negotiations is about more than just how foreigners close deals. It involves looking at all factors that can influence the proceedings. By way of highlighting this, a few brief examples of topics covered in cross cultural negotiation training shall be offered.

Eye Contact : In the US, UK and much of northern Europe, strong, direct eye contact conveys confidence and sincerity. In South America it is a sign of trustworthiness. However, in some cultures such as the Japanese, prolonged eye contact is considered rude and is generally avoided. Personal Space & Touch: In Europe and North America, business people will usually leave a certain amount of distance between themselves when interacting. Touching only takes place between friends.

In South America or the Middle East, business people are tactile and like to get up close. In Japan or China, it is not uncommon for people to leave a gap of four feet when conversing. Touching only takes place between close friends and family members. Time: Western societies are very ‘clock conscious’. Time is money and punctuality is crucial. This is also the case in countries such as Japan or China where being late would be taken as an insult.

However, in South America, southern Europe and the Middle East, being on time for a meeting does not carry the same sense of urgency. Meeting & Greeting: most international business people meet with a handshake. In some countries this is not appropriate between genders. Some may view a weak handshake as sign of weakness whereas others would perceive a firm handshake as aggressive.

How should people be addressed? Is it by first name, surname or title? Is small talk part of the proceedings or not? Gift-Giving: In Japan and China gift-giving is an integral part of business protocol however in the US or UK, it has negative connotations. Where gifts are exchanged should one give lavish gifts? Are they always reciprocated? Should they be wrapped? Are there numbers or colours that should be avoided?

All the above in one way or another will impact cross cultural negotiation and can only be learnt through cross cultural training. Doing or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, poor communication and cross cultural misunderstandings can all have harmful consequences. Cross cultural negotiation training builds its foundations upon understanding etiquettes and approaches to business abroad before focusing on cross cultural differences in negotiation styles and techniques. There are three interconnected aspects that need to be considered before entering into cross cultural negotiation.

The Basis of the Relationship: in much of Europe and North America, business is contractual in nature. Personal relationships are seen as unhealthy as they can cloud objectivity and lead to complications. In South America and much of Asia, business is personal. Partnerships will only be made with those they know, trust and feel comfortable with. It is therefore necessary to invest in relationship building before conducting business. Information at Negotiations: Western business culture places emphasis on clearly presented and rationally argued business proposals using statistics and facts.

Other business cultures rely on similar information but with differences. For example, visual and oral communicators such as the South Americans may prefer information presented through speech or using maps, graphs and charts. Negotiation Styles: the way in which we approach negotiation differs across cultures. For example, in the Middle East rather than approaching topics sequentially negotiators may discuss issues simultaneously. South Americans can become quite vocal and animated. The Japanese will negotiate in teams and decisions will be based upon consensual agreement.

In Asia, decisions are usually made by the most senior figure or head of a family. In China, negotiators are highly trained in the art of gaining concessions. In Germany, decisions can take a long time due to the need to analyse information and statistics in great depth. In the UK, pressure tactics and imposing deadlines are ways of closing deals whilst in Greece this would backfire. Clearly there are many factors that need to be considered when approaching cross cultural negotiation.

Through cross cultural negotiation training, business personnel are given the appropriate knowledge that can help them prepare their presentations and sales pitches effectively. By tailoring your behaviour and the way you approach the negotiation you will succeed in maximising your potential.

The Perfect Negotiator - Strategies

2006-12-08T10:23:00.000+09:00

The Perfect Negotiator
A famous German diplomat once described a good negotiator as having the patience of a clockmaker and not suffering from prejudices or stereotypes. Keeping that in mind, be sure that you do not confront the other party immediately with arguments and demands.

Take time at the beginning of the negotiations to break the ice and establish rapport. This can be achieved by discussing a non-controversial current event which might include sports, entertainment, business issues, etc. However, don't go into detail about the traffic jam on the highway, the search for a parking spot, or the bad weather - you need to save time for the "major" topics to be discussed.

Set up your goals and plan your negotiation time:
As the saying goes, "He who does not know where he wants to go will never get there." Be sure that you go into negotiations with concrete goals in mind, based on the answers to the following questions:

What is my most important goal?

What is NOT negotiable?

What are the possible trade-offs or concessions? What do I require in return?

Where is the compromise threshold or where should I draw the line?

The Art of Negotiation in 535 words

2006-12-07T09:50:00.000+09:00

I want to get better at negotiation, but where to start? UK Amazon currently has 2332 books on negotiation. Google indexed nearly 4 million relevant (yeah right) pages. All I need is a simple, straightforward model that I can put to use now.

Phased by the glut of information, I went within and remembered the wise teachings from a senior manager in my early working life. So, come closer, listen up, because he was very wise indeed…

He said “Do you know your LIMits?”

“My what? said I cautiously, wondering if he was asking about my drinking capacity, driving speed or something equally off the wall.

Being worldlier than I, he noticed my confusion and helped me out.

“Lyndsay, if you want to be successful in life, you need to know your LIMits. Let me explain. What would you Like to have? What do you Intend to have? What Must you have? What are your LIMit’s?”

Slowly it dawned on me that he was talking the strange management language of mnemonics.

He wrote down the word for me like this.

L
I
M
I
T
S

And next to the letters he wrote

L – like to have: your number 1, top of the pile, best outcome
I – intend to have: your realistic, shoot for the stars but reach the moon outcome
M – must have: your bottom line. Deal is off if this is not met.

(The I,T and S are irrelevant, just convenient additions to prevent asking what your LIM are!)

Testing the Theory

And so ended his lesson. Off I scampered like the eager young graduate I was, itching to put this into practice. Thinking about a possible secondment opportunity I wrote the following:

Like – 10% bonus, new laptop, mentoring with new senior manager
Intend – 5% bonus, attendance at special course, return to new job after secondment
Must – same pay, relocation expenses paid, credit in my appraisal

The final deal I struck landed somewhere between Like and Intend, with a few perks I had not even considered, so I felt it was a success.

Why Negotiation Works

There are a couple of reasons why simple models are useful but often forgotten.

The LIMits negotiation model encourages flexible thinking in that there are 3 potential good outcomes. Compare this with the most common alternative - success or failure – and you can see there is only 1 measly good outcome. You don’t have to be a gambling pro to work out which approach is best! The secret of the LIMits model is if you don’t meet all the criteria for success, then the opposite is not failure, just a different outcome.

The other benefit of using the LIMits negotiation model is it forces you to prepare, gaining you vital spare capacity when you are in the thick of the negotiation. You will be clear about your position and better able to get that across.

Information overload

As I demonstrated, simple models are forgotten because we seek out newer, shinier ideas in books, the internet or from other sources. Reduce information overload by re-using what you already know or recycling an old idea into one that works today. Old knowledge is not always redundant.

So, negotiate that new job, better deal or contract. All you need is to know your LIMits.